Onions and Other Weapons

Chronicles of Klept: Chapter XIX


Branches whipped our faces. Roots reached for ankles. The underbrush roared with panic, snapped twigs, crashing footfalls, panting lungs.

Behind us?

Nothing. No footfalls. No breath. Just silence. And yet, something followed.

Shapes in the trees. Movement without noise. Shadows that didn’t obey the moonlight.

Osman went down hard, crashing through a patch of thornbrush with a strangled yelp. Trunch was on him in a heartbeat, hauling him up by the collar.

Move!” he hissed, barely audible over the chaos. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop now.

Carrie tried to gain altitude, wings beating in time with her curses, then slammed full-force into a low-hanging branch. Her body spun mid-air like a dropped pennant.

Carrie!” Wikis shouted.

But Umberto caught her mid-fall, an arm looping under hers, dragging her bodily through the brush as she blinked the stars from her eyes.

Keep going,” he grunted. “Breathe later.

The forest felt endless. Everything scratched. Everything tore. It was dark, only scattered moonlight shining between the canopy and the clouds. 

Just that quiet. That intentional quiet.

Like we were being hunted, not chased.

Inevitably, Jonath staggered. The exhaustion caught up to him and he collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut, falling hard against a moss-covered rock, gasping. I slid to a halt beside him. “Jonath, by the light of the Prophet, you returned, how are you even…”.

Jonath looked up. Smiled, face strained with effort. And then slumped forward onto the rock, unconscious.

Carry him!” Din’s voice, raw and distant, rose through the trees. “Carry him if you have to, just keep going!

We turned and saw him.

Fifty paces behind. Alone. Falling behind fast.

Plate armor gleaming in moonlight. Breath coming in wheezes. A wall of steel losing ground with every step.

No,” Umberto growled. “I’m not running all night.” Still holding Carrie half-slung across one shoulder, he dropped her gently onto her feet and turned to face the shadows.

He glanced at Day. They didn’t speak. They didn’t need to.

Day nodded once. He stepped toward the investigators, voice low but firm. “Stay here. Lay low. Use the rock.

Redmond was doubled over, hands on knees, eyes wide. Osman was pale, clinging to his belt like it might anchor him to the world. Jonath lay against the rock, chest rising shallowly. Day didn’t wait for a response. Neither Redmond nor Osman gave one, just wide-eyed nods and the clumsy shuffle of terrified men trying to make themselves smaller than they were.

Everyone, drop your packs,” Day said, already unshouldering his own. “Use them to cover the investigators.

The others followed without question. Tossing their packs toward the cowering investigators before bracing themselves for what was to come. Trunch’s pack landed with a thump, and a handful of onions tumbled out, rolling across the moss like they were also trying to flee. He muttered something inaudible as he kicked them back toward the pile.

Day didn’t pause. He stepped forward, sword in one hand, the other already tracing faint sigils in the air. His gaze swept the treeline, not nervous, not uncertain. Just calculating.

Steel in one hand. Spell in the other.

The moment something moved, he’d be faster.

Wikis!” Umberto barked. “Your sword!

She dashed up a nearby tree, tossing it as she moved, stringing her bow before he caught it.

Carrie took to the air again, wings pulsing dimly in the moonlight as she vanished into the canopy with a sharp intake of breath and a muttered, “Well, this is not how I typically plan moonlit evenings in the forest…

Trunch and Yak flattened themselves behind the trunks of thick old trees, their silhouettes melting into the underbrush.

A hand slammed into my chest. Umberto pressed the sword into my grip.

It was heavier than I expected. Colder too.

I stared. “Wait, what? You don’t expect me to… I don’t…

No time,” Umberto snapped. “Writing won’t help us now, chronicler.

I opened my mouth to argue again, but the look in Umberto’s eyes was the kind that doesn’t tolerate footnotes.

I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he growled, jabbing a finger toward the huddled investigators, “but, keep them safe, and you’ll earn yourself a drink. On me.

Din crashed through the last of the brush, armor clanking like a slow-moving forge. He bent over, panting hard, sweat shining on his brow.

So…” he rasped, “we’re fighting?

Umberto cracked his neck and glared toward the dark beyond the trees.

I hate running,” he said.

There was silence.

Not peace. Not quiet. Just, silence
The kind of silence that waits.

The forest, once filled with the crashing panic of flight, now stood still. No birds. No wind. Not even the whisper of leaves. Just shadow, and moonlight.

The group held position. Blades drawn, bows nocked, spells just behind the teeth and crackling at fingertips. 

And the only sound now… was breathing.

Deep, controlled, steady.

The kind of breathing you do when you’re trying not to panic. Trying to regain control of your lungs.
Trying to stay sharp.
Trying to live.

I gripped the sword awkwardly. Too tight, too loose, unsure where my hands were meant to go. The hilt was already slick with sweat, and the weight of it pulled at my wrist like it knew I had no business holding it. Behind me, Redmond was whispering. Soft, rapid words. A prayer maybe, or a long, muttered catalogue of regrets. Osman had curled around Jonath, shielding the unconscious scribe with his own shaking body. He had arranged the packs to form a meager protective wall. 

In the trees, Wikis was stone. She didn’t blink. Didn’t breathe. Her eyes flicked from shadow to shadow. Scanning, calculating, waiting. 

With a smooth, deliberate motion, she notched and drew. String taut, arrow resting lightly between her fingers. Her fingers brushed the fletching, and something shimmered across the arrowhead.

A sharp glint. Then another.

Tiny needles of silver light bloomed from the arrowhead, spreading down the shaft, then hanging there, suspended, ready.

She tilted her head slightly, exhaled once, and aimed.

The forest hadn’t moved yet.

But Wikis had already chosen her target.

In the branches, Carrie was anything but still. She crawled and adjusted, wings twitching, shifting from one perch to the next like she was auditioning for a better view. She muttered to herself under her breath, more concerned with angles and potential applause than threats. I could hear her, just barely: “No, too exposed… no, too low. Ugh, these branches are the worst.”

Yak had been behind a tree.

I saw him, plain as anything, flattened against the bark, half-hidden, head low. His hand rested lightly on a dagger as he took a swig out of a bottle from behind the bar, one he’d refused to leave behind. He was still. Focused.

Then I looked away.

Just for a second. A breath. A blink.

And when I looked back, he was gone.

Not moved. Not shifted. Gone.

No rustle, no shuffle, no sign of passage. The forest hadn’t even noticed.

My eyes darted around, scanning trunks, branches, the brush at my feet. Nothing. Not even a scuff in the dirt.

“Yak?” I hissed.

No reply. Just trees. And shadow. And the vague, creeping sense that somehow, this was exactly what Yak had meant to happen.

Din adjusted his stance with the heavy breath of a man trying not to fall over. His armor creaked with the effort. Then, slowly, deliberately, he took one hand off the hilt of his hammer and curled it into a fist.

With a dull clang, he thumped it hard against the faded Sparkwhiskers sigil on his breastplate. The old metal groaned beneath the blow, echoing faintly in the stillness.

His hand returned to his hammer.

And then his beard began to spark.

Tiny arcs of lightning danced between the bristles, lifting the strands in a slow, unnatural rise, as if they were searching the air for something to smite. The hairs twisted upward like wary tentacles sniffing a storm.

He muttered something low and guttural, lost beneath the crackle of rising sparks.

And just behind him, with a sudden flash of white-blue light, a spectral anvil silently slammed into existence, hovering at his shoulder.

Trunch watched the darkness from behind a tree. Still. Calculating.

He didn’t move. Just stood, one hand low at his side, the other loosely clenched, as if holding a thought more than a weapon.

Energy crackled faintly across his knuckles. Thin threads of light curling between his fingers and flickering up his wrists. It was quiet, contained. Controlled.

The undergrowth around his boots seemed to shift. The shadows at his feet seemed to stretch, just a little too far. Just a little too wrong. Like the moonlight had missed something. Or like something had bent the light to make room. I shook my head. It could’ve been the angle. A trick of nerves and moonlight. Trunch didn’t look concerned. If anything, he looked composed, like a gentleman at the theatre, waiting for the second act. But still, the way the dark edged closer to him… it seemed to draw in.

Like it knew him.

Umberto stood like a nobleman at the top of a staircase, welcoming guests to the event – except this one had no wine. No music. Just blood waiting to be spilled.

His axe, competing with him for height, gleamed in the moonlight, every edge catching silver. He rolled his shoulders, loose and ready, then shifted his stance. His chest rose and fell in deep, steady pulses, like a drum counting down.

He spat into the dirt. Looked back at the rest of us. There was a fire in his eyes. A slow, controlled burn. I thought I’d seen fury in him before. I was wrong. This was something else.

Rage. Pure. Unfiltered. Fighting desperately to be freed.

And then he let it loose.

He roared, deep and guttural.
A sound that tore through the forest like it didn’t care what answered back.

He took a step forward, axe rising, the moonlight dancing madly across the blade.

Umberto was done running.


For a moment, the silence was deafening.

Then it shattered.

Snapping branches. Rustling underbrush. The shadows peeled from the treeline. Eleven hooded figures, dark-robed and fast, sweeping in from all sides. Their blades glinted wickedly, too thin, too long, like fangs drawn from cloaks.

Thunk.

One of them collapsed instantly as an arrow from Wikis buried itself just below the throat, splintering mid-impact into a hail of silvery thorns that shredded through cloth and flesh. Dozens of glowing shards embedded in his face and chest. He crumpled with a wet rattle.

A dagger whirled through the air –clang– glancing off Din’s armor in a spray of sparks. He didn’t flinch.

Umberto was already in motion, axe swinging in a brutal arc. The first unfortunate soul to reach him never had a chance, cut clean in half before he even realized he’d been targeted.

Day was a storm made flesh, blade and spell moving in perfect tandem. He ducked, twisted, slashed, the tip of his sword catching one figure in the thigh before a blast of force sent another tumbling into the brush like a rag doll. He moved like fire through a dry forest, relentless, consuming, inevitable.

But the attackers weren’t made of smoke and fear alone.

They struck back. Fast. Silent. Coordinated.

One slipped Umberto’s guard, driving a curved blade deep into his shoulder. He snarled, spun, and cleaved the assailant in half on pure rage, blood pouring down his arm like a sleeve.

Another caught Trunch across the ribs, steel cutting through the folds of his armor. He staggered, breath hissing through his teeth, shadows curling tighter around him even as blood soaked into the dirt.

The moon vanished behind thick cloud. The world shrank to movement and breath. The forest became a blur of black and motion.

Din roared, “Can’t see a damned thing!” as his hammer swung blindly through a shape that vanished at the last second.

Wait!” Carrie called from above, sharp and clear. “I’ve got something!

She raised one hand and flicked her fingers. Small, comet-like sparks darted from her outstretched palm like playful stars on the hunt. They struck the nearest attackers with flickering pops of silver starlight. One by one, the robed figures began to glow, dim halos of silvery shimmer clinging to their forms like they’d been dipped in starlight. Each lit figure cast pale light in all directions, breaking the dark into uneven fragments.

One glowed and froze, disoriented. Another flinched mid-strike, caught off guard by the sudden glare outlining their form.

Who dresses like that on purpose?” Carrie called sweetly from her perch, launching another spark with a toss of her wrist. “You look like a haunted curtain.

The man she insulted actually paused, blade faltering, just long enough for Wikis to bury an arrow in his thigh.

The field lit up in pulses, spotlights thrown from Carrie’s hands, one by one. Not perfect, but enough.

The group surged.

Wikis shot, an arrow slicing through a throat before exploding into a spray of silver thorns that ripped through the two nearest. One collapsed instantly. The other clawed at his eyes, staggered, and toppled, twitching.

Day launched forward, blade flashing with controlled fury. He drove his sword through one glowing figure’s ribs and hurled a burst of force at another, sending the attacker crashing into a tree.

Din’s hammer crushed a jaw, then a knee. He moved through the field like a forge with legs, his armor gleaming with scattered sparks from Carrie’s magic, his beard whipping in static-charged arcs.

Trunch stood calmly behind the line, flicking bolts of energy like he was teaching a lesson on consequences. One enemy dropped mid-lunge. Another staggered toward the investigators, blade raised …

…and crumpled as a blast from Trunch hit him square in the chest. His weapon clattered against the stone by Jonath’s feet.

Up in the trees, Carrie kept up her relentless barrage.

Oh please, you call that a swing? My grandmother flails harder when she drops her knitting!

A glowing figure sprinted for Yak’s last known location, then abruptly stopped, eyes wide. Yak reappeared behind him, slitting his throat in one fluid motion. Another followed, and another. The only sounds were wet gasps and the quiet clink of a belt pouch being lifted mid-drop.

Umberto, wounded but furious, tore into another enemy with a roaring overhead swing, splitting skull and spine in one blow. Blood streaked down his arm. He didn’t seem to care.

The last attacker turned to run.

Wikis put an arrow in the back of his knee. Day closed the distance. The end was swift.

Eleven down.

The group pressed together. Panting, bloodied, running on willpower and the last fumes of adrenaline.

No one had fallen. But everyone had felt it.

And still…

Beyond the battlefield, three figures stood at the treeline.

Taller. Broader. Unmoving.

Watching.

Waiting.

Like the real fight hadn’t even started yet.

The glowing battlefield had fallen silent.

Only our ragged breathing remained. Blades lowered. Bows held. Spells simmering just behind teeth.

The two shapes on the edges began to move.

Slowly. Deliberately.

The third, taller, broader, still, remained where it was. Watching.

The approaching figures were mounted. Cloaked, hunched over snarling shapes that slinked forward on padded paws. Not horses. Not men. Wolves. Dire wolves. Each beast easily the size of a cart horse, eyes gleaming like twin coals under hoods of matted fur.

The riders were draped in black, faces hidden, blades long and cruel. The wolves didn’t charge. They circled. Low. Slow. Taunting.

Umberto took a step forward, blood still dripping from his axe. “You want something? COME GET IT!

Trunch tilted his head. “Who are you? What do you want?

The only reply was a hiss.

And the sound of silent laughter.

Then the riders struck.

The first wolf lunged, but a bolt of energy from Trunch caught it mid-bound, tearing it from its mount and sending it crashing into the dirt. It yelped once before Din’s anvil dropped from above like a hammer, smashing its skull into the forest floor with a sickening crunch.

The dismounted rider rolled through the impact and came up fast, charging toward Day with twin blades drawn. Day parried the first strike, boots skidding against moss. He twisted, reversed, and drove his sword clean through the rider’s gut. Two arrows thudded into his spine a breath later. Wikis above, calm and lethal. The figure collapsed without a sound.

The second wolf didn’t hesitate.

It hit Din like a boulder, knocking him flat, snarling and snapping at his face. He roared, struggling beneath its bulk, armor scraping earth, arms locked against jaws lined with fangs.

Umberto charged, grabbing at the wolf’s thick neck, but was flung aside like a sack of flour, crashing into a tree with a grunt.

Then Yak moved.

He ran three steps up a low trunk, flipped into the air, and came down hard, daggers first, onto the rider’s back.

Steel sank deep. The rider screamed, twisted, and backhanded Yak off his perch. He crashed into the leaves and rolled, only to be pinned beneath the wolf’s other paw, its teeth inches from his throat.

Din and Yak were both pinned now, crushed beneath the beast’s limbs, struggling to breathe.

Trunch raised a hand and fired again, then again, blasts of energy slamming into the rider, staggering him sideways.

Day ducked low, blade flashing as he turned from the corpse at his feet and drove his sword straight into the wolf’s neck. Blood fountained.

Wikis loosed arrow after arrow, her breath steady. Three shafts buried into the beast’s flank. One pierced the eye.

The wolf howled.

It collapsed sideways, with a groan, on top of Din and Yak both.

The rider tried to rise.

Carrie, from above, offered help in the form of a sharp insult that questioned his mother’s lineage and fashion sense.

Trunch’s final blast hit him.

The forest went still again.

But Din and Yak lay trapped beneath the twitching corpse of the dire wolf.

The wind shifted.

It started low. Rustling leaves, stirring cloaks.

Then the smell hit.

Rot.

Decay.

Something ancient, long dead and recently disturbed.

It swept across the battlefield like a curtain being drawn, and even the bravest among us staggered.

Wikis gagged and turned away. Day covered his mouth. Umberto took a half-step back, scowling.

From the treeline, the final shadow moved.

A towering figure emerged, easily seven feet tall, shoulders like stone walls beneath a tattered cloak. His mount was worse: a massive, undead dire wolf, far larger than the others, its eyes glowing a dull, fetid green, its body held together by what looked like wire, rot, and pure hate.

It lumbered forward with slow, deliberate steps. Every footfall sinking into the forest floor with a wet crunch.

The group didn’t charge.

They stepped back.

The stench was unbearable. Osman retched behind the rock wall. Even Din grunted something that sounded like a prayer.

Then. Sound.

Chains.

Slow. Relentless.

The clink, clink of unwinding metall, followed by a heavier metallic clatter as the figure dropped his arms. Twin chained blades spilled from his sleeves like dead snakes, their weight dragging arcs in the dirt.

He began to spin them. Slowly at first. Wide, sweeping circles over his head, effortless, hypnotic. Then…

With a crack, one chain snapped forward, knocking Day’s sword clean from his hand. It spun away into the dark, landing with a sharp clang against a rock.

The second chain followed a heartbeat later, thudding into the earth just inches in front of Umberto’s boot. A warning. Or a challenge.

Umberto didn’t flinch.
Din, still trapped beneath the dire wolf’s bulk, groaned.

I think I’d like those when this is all said and done,” he wheezed, eyeing the chained blades. “Focus on that thing. We’ll get ourselves out from under this thing.

Carrie raised a hand, eyes narrowing, voice sharp. “Leave.

The figure didn’t even twitch.

The spell fizzled uselessly against whatever dark force kept him upright. Carrie frowned. “Well. Rude.

I swallowed hard.

Then stepped forward.

Not far. Just enough.

My sword still felt too heavy. Too cold. I looked at Day, barehanded but still steady.

Here,” I said, holding the hilt toward him. “You’ll probably be a little better with it than I would.

Day took it silently.

I stepped back toward the rock and the wall of packs.

I believe in you,” I said.

The words felt stupid the moment they left my mouth. But true.

You’ve got this.

And I hoped to every gods-damned power in Elandaru… that I wasn’t lying.

The battle didn’t start with a roar this time. It started with a plan.

A bad one, maybe, but it was all we had.

Wikis and Carrie focused on the undead wolf, hoping to distract it enough to shake the rider’s focus. Arrows flew, spells sparked. The wolf snarled, snapping at the air, unfazed. 

Up in the trees, Wikis fired in tight, calculated bursts, three arrows in quick succession, one striking just above the beast’s sunken eye. It didn’t blink.

Carrie hurled more silver wisps, each one sparking light across its rotted frame. “Come on, you ugly corpse rug!” she shouted. “Over here! Bite someone with better fashion sense!

It barely looked her way.

Meanwhile, Umberto and Day charged the rider.

The chained blades spun again, deadly arcs of iron and rot. Day ducked one, barely catching it with the sword. The impact rattled his wrist.

Umberto roared and caught another with the flat of his axe, but the force still drove him back a step. He growled through his teeth.

Trunch stood behind them, teeth gritted, hands glowing with unstable power. One eldritch blast after another flared from his palms, striking the rider in the chest, shoulder, neck. The hits staggered him, but he never stopped attacking.

This would be easier,” Trunch muttered, “if he’d just go down already.

Behind them, Din and Yak were still very much under the dire wolf.

On three,” Din grunted, shifting his armor and kicking at the dirt. “One, two, three!

They rolled.

The wolf didn’t budge.

Maybe four next time,” Yak wheezed. “Four might be the number.

They tried again, feet scrambling, muffled swearing erupting under the mound of fur.

The rider pressed forward.

Carrie’s next bolt went wide. Wikis hit the same leg twice, but the beast kept moving.

Day was tiring, his blocks slower. Umberto had a cut above his brow now, blood in his eye. Trunch’s blasts were getting erratic.

And me?

I did the only thing I could.

I reached into the pile of packs behind me, and my hand closed around something round and firm.

An onion. I stared at it, then stood up, and hurled it.

It hit the undead wolf squarely in the snout with a wet thud.

No reaction.

So I threw another.

Then another.

Why,” I muttered to myself, “do we have so many onions?

I got them in Nelb,” Trunch called out “Couldn’t resist. The price was too good for produce of that quality.

The fourth onion bounced off the rider’s shoulder.

He paused. Just for a moment. A small moment. But a moment.

It was enough for Trunch to land a shot square in the jaw, snapping his head to the side.

Umberto seized the opening with a bellow, charging low, axe flashing.

And in the dirt, Yak shrugged, “Onions.”

Then, finally, a breakthrough.

Carrie’s voice cut sharp through the din, more serious than before. No witty jab. No airy sarcasm. Just quiet, focused spellcasting.

A flick of her wrist. A spark of silver light.

The undead dire wolf began to shrink.

It didn’t roar. It didn’t flail. It simply collapsed inward, bones creaking and limbs contorting as its hulking mass shriveled. In mere seconds, the towering monstrosity had shrunk to something more akin to a sickly greyhound. Still hideous, still snarling, but far less threatening.

The rider wobbled, awkward on suddenly too-small footing.

He had no choice but to dismount, hitting the ground in a roll that broke some of the eerie poise he’d carried till now.

There was a beat of stunned silence.

Then Carrie, from her perch in the trees, put her hands on her hips and said, “You’re welcome.

The rider hit the ground with surprising grace.

For a man of his size, he moved with unnatural speed, a blur of shadow and muscle, twin blades hissing as they retracted and reformed into a pair of wicked, scimitar-like swords.

He didn’t roar. He didn’t speak.

He simply advanced.

Din and Yak had finally rolled free of the collapsed wolf carcass. Din staggered upright, wincing as his armor creaked, one side caved in slightly, movement limited.

Yak gave him a look. “You alright?”

Functional,” Din growled. “Mostly. I really want those blades.

They took down the shrunken wolf first. Carrie blasting it with a final wisp of light while Umberto cleaved its head from its shoulders. It twitched once and stilled.

But they were spent.

Umberto bled from multiple wounds, his breathing ragged.
Day’s tunic was slashed, his ribs heaving, but his braid, somehow, remained perfect. Trunch leaned against a tree, face pale, arms shaking. He fired one last eldritch blast that fizzled out halfway. 

That’s me,” he said. “I’m done.

Wikis reached for another arrow, and found none. She threw the empty quiver down in disgust. Carrie, standing unsteadily on a branch, lifted her arms and sighed. “I’m out. Nothing left. I’m just a cheerleader now.”

They formed up anyway.

A final, desperate line.

Blades drawn. Breath shallow. Bones screaming.

The rider came in hard.

His swords were a blur, striking in cruel, perfect arcs. Day blocked one, barely, and was thrown backward. Umberto caught another across his side and roared, swinging his axe in reply. Din’s hammer crashed into the rider’s hip, knocking him off balance. Yak darted low, slashing across the hamstring. Wikis picked up a fallen dagger and hurled it. It sank deep into the rider’s back.

The assault continued.

He fought like a dying storm, brutal, relentless, refusing to end.

Until finally he collapsed. The twin blades fell. His body hit the forest floor, coughing blood. Laughing. Wet, broken laughter that sent shivers through the trees. They stood above him. He looked up at them, still grinning.

Umberto staggered forward. His chest rose and fell like a bellows. He turned to me, hand outstretched.

Chronicler,” he said. “Give me a fucking onion.

I reached back, found one in Trunch’s pack, and gently pressed it onto his palm..

Umberto took it. Looked the rider in the eye. Then shoved the entire thing into the man’s mouth. The rider gagged, his eyes wide. Umberto stomped once, hard, forcing the onion deeper. The laughter stopped. And then Day stepped forward, sword in hand. He didn’t speak. Just raised the blade, calm and precise, and dropped it clean across the rider’s neck. The head rolled. So did the onion, sliding free from the severed throat, perfectly intact.

No one spoke.

We just stood there. Breathing. Bleeding. Somehow still alive.

Eventually, we moved.

No orders. No plan. Just the quiet, aching shuffle of survivors who knew the work wasn’t done yet.

Wikis descended from the trees and began reclaiming her arrows. She worked in silence, one by one, pulling shafts from bark, limbs, and moss. She tested the fletching, checked the tips, slid the whole ones back into her quiver. A few were too warped to keep. She left them behind without comment.

Carrie drifted above the clearing, casting faint silver flickers to light the field. Din set about prying the blades free from the attacker’s wrists. He managed to undo the bolt holding one and settled with cutting off the hand to retrieve the other. Trunch moved through the dead, quiet now, his hands shaking as he worked, prying medallions from necks, gathering what little the fallen had. Each attacker wore the same thing: a Dan’del’ion medallion, unmistakable even in the dark.

Thirteen in total.

The final rider’s was different. A little larger. More ornate. Edged in silver filigree, the metal veined around the rim with faint crimson. And in its centre, a gemstone, milky white. We exchanged glances, no one quite ready to touch it for too long.

We took them all.

Then we turned to Jonath. Still breathing. Still unconscious.

Din and Umberto moved first, lifting him between them, a mismatched pair of limbs beneath too much weight. They bore it for only a few paces before Redmond stepped in, silent. Osman followed, nodding once, his face pale and tight with something close to shame. Wordlessly, they took over, cradling Jonath with surprising gentleness. Gratitude passed unspoken between them.

The cart waited where we’d left it.

We climbed in slowly, as if our bodies were still catching up to the fact that the fight was over. Trunch collapsed against the sideboards. Carrie folded herself beneath spare cloaks. Wikis sat with her back to the driver’s bench, scanning the woods. Din groaned as he pulled his dented armor into something resembling comfort. Yak climbed up beside me and said nothing.

Redmond and Osman laid Jonath carefully across the packs, arranging him as best they could.

No one spoke.

I took the reins.

A gentle flick. A whisper to the mules. And they began to walk.

Slow.

Blessedly slow, along the long, moonlit road back to Dawnsheart.

Return

Chronicles of Klept: Chapter XVIII


We made our way toward the North-East city gate with the sky threatening rain in the distance. Umberto stomped beside us, muttering about “the ignominy of looking after academics” and “being destined for greater things,” gripping his axe like he planned to strike down the next cabbage cart that looked at him funny.

Wikis glanced down her coat for the seventh time and turned to Carrie.
Do you think it’ll grow back?
I’m fairly sure it will, darling.
But it’s been ripped out completely.
Still,” Carrie said, “hair has a very forgiving nature.

A few paces ahead, Trunch tried to strike up a conversation with Osman, gesturing animatedly as he spoke.
Klept tells us the Court were ruthless. Farmed the people as much as the people farmed the land.

Osman adjusted the strap on his satchel and cleared his throat, pleased to be drawn into conversation.
They didn’t start as tyrants,” he said, eyes distant. “The Dan’del’ion Court rose centuries ago, during a time of famine, plague, constant raiding. At first, they were protectors. Guardians. But eventually, Lord Ieyoch rose to power, and things changed.

I’d love to know more. I mean, Klept gave us the background, but was light on specifics.” Trunch’s voice had an eager lilt.

I gave you the necessary information, in the time we had,” I called forward. “You haven’t asked for more.

I appreciate it,” Trunch called back, and then turned to Osman. “But seeing as we’ve got a few hours of walking ahead of us…

Sorry,” Redmond cut in, abruptly stopping. “Are you really expecting us to walk all the way?

Well, we could hire a cart — but it’ll only take us part of the way. Once we enter the forest, we’ll have to leave it by the roadside,” Yak replied.

As long as the chronicler writes it down so it isn’t forgotten on the way back,” Umberto grunted, eying me with more intensity than was strictly necessary.

But… I think we’ll kind of need to go all the way to Nelb anyway, and then backtrack from there,” Yak said, looking sheepishly at the ground.

Yak,” Carrie placed a hand gently on his shoulder. “Have you forgotten how to get to the stump?

Not exactly. It’s just, it was dark when I left the forest. I kind of got lost on the way back to Nelb.

That’s why you came back so late,” Trunch offered.

So I need to retrace my steps from Nelb. Then I think I can get us there.”

I tried to lighten the mood. “At least we could get a sizzlecake or two.

It’s a good thing we’re setting off early, then,” Day said, already heading for the gate.
I’ll go hire us a cart.

There’s a C.A.R.T. stable just outside the gate,” I called after him. “See if they’ve got one with bedding.

C.A.R.T.?” Osman asked.

The C.A.R.T. system,” I replied. “A Humbledoewn Valley institution. Carriage And Reliable Transport. Came about a few generations ago—started by a group of farming friends sick of paying through the nose for carts and beasts. Between rental costs, maintenance, hoof-rot ointments, wheel grease, and the occasional mule funeral, it was getting unsustainable.

Osman raised an eyebrow. “A mule funeral?

You’d be surprised,” I said.

So they pooled their coin, ideas, and stubbornness, and set up a shared network—carts and animals available for hire at a fair price. These days, it covers the whole valley. You just head to a C.A.R.T. stable, pick your beast and cart size—grain, lumber, or relocating your exceptionally lazy uncle—hand over some coin, and off you go.

So it’s a cart rental service,” Osman said. Redmond scoffed.

Well, yes, but better. Each cart comes with a token that matches the beast’s strapping. Return it to an affiliated stable, you get some coin back. Discourages folk from abandoning it in a ditch.”

And if there’s no C.A.R.T. stand nearby?

There’s a little emergency cage with a messenger pigeon and a scrap of parchment,” I said. “If something goes wrong—wheel breaks, ox dies dramatically—you scribble your location, release the bird, and someone from C.A.R.T. comes to find you. Usually within a day or two. Faster if you pay the pigeon an express fee.

Osman blinked.

There’s even a fold-out flagpole under the chassis,” I added. “Orange and green. Highly visible. Unless you’re stuck in a pumpkin field. It’s a simple system. Flawed. But effective. Like most things in the valley—it works here, and almost nowhere else.”

Day returned, braid swaying with practiced precision.
They’re just hooking up the oxen now,” he said. “I paid for two. Got us a medium transport cart as well.

It wasn’t anything fancy, but the cart was solid, and Day had put down enough coin to get one with padded bedding. That meant fewer splinters, less bouncing, and slightly more dignity than usual. The kind of luxury that said ‘you’re still poor, but someone might think otherwise at a distance’.

Five minutes into the ride, Wikis shifted against the padding, stretched her legs out, and turned to me.
Why didn’t we have a cart as comfortable as this on our first trip to Nelb, Klept?

Umberto, never one to let a moment of passive aggression pass unchallenged, glared at me like I’d wronged his ancestors.
That,” I said, “was a church cart. Tufulla lent it to us.

I assume he charged for it,” Umberto muttered.
No, but it did come with a hymnbook and three spiders.

The road to Nelb curved through low grass and trees that leaned in like they wanted to eavesdrop. Redmond sat primly, notebook open, quill already dancing across the page before the wheels had properly begun to turn. Jonath jostled beside him, scribbling in shorthand so dense it looked like a curse. Orsen clutched the side of the cart with both hands and the expression of a man bracing for impact.

So,” Redmond said without looking up, “tell us everything.

And they did.

They started with the festival. The masked attackers. The chaos. The creeping sense that it had been more than random violence—that someone, somewhere, had made a decision to let blood spill that night.

Osman, sharper than expected, murmured, “That second attack, in the church? From your description, it sounds like a golem. Not summoned. Placed. An assassination attempt?”

Could’ve been for Klept,” Umberto added, unhelpfully. “But probably Tufulla.”

Then Nelb. The graveyard. The medallions.

Redmond’s quill froze in midair.
“You found the medallions buried?” he asked. “In coffins?

Sort of,” Din said with a frown.

The risen skeletons were wearing them,” I clarified.

That’s… unsettling,” Redmond muttered. Jonath scribbled faster.

Next: the discovery of the box.

We found it in the Lenn house,” Yak said. “Under a loose board. Inside were the parchment and the brooch.

Redmond’s expression shifted. He nodded, slow and deliberate.
The Lenn family were once members of the Dan’del’ion Court.

I fucking knew it,” Umberto roared. “When I see her again, I’ll—

But they turned,” Redmond interrupted. “Years ago. Brenne’s parents were working with the White Ravens before their deaths.”

She doesn’t know, does she?” Day asked quietly.

Redmond shook his head. “It was never made public. Safer that way. Her grandparents were the last true believers. Her parents left the Court when they were young—worked to bring it down. They didn’t want her to grow up with that shadow.

A hush settled over the cart. Even Umberto fell quiet for a breath or two, his rage folding in on itself. Just for a moment.

Over the next few minutes, Redmond’s posture changed. His demeanor toward the group seemed to soften—not in the usual “I’m unimpressed and saving my breath for a monologue” kind of way, but in the quiet, cog-turning sort of way that meant he was re-evaluating.

He sat with the medallions in one hand, frowning down at them as the cart jostled along.

I admit,” he said finally, not looking at anyone in particular, “your methods are… unconventional. Chaotic. Unrefined. Bordering on undisciplined.

Yak yawned loudly. Umberto growled. Carrie tutted.

But,” Redmond continued, lifting the brooch into a shaft of morning light, “you’ve gathered more actionable intelligence in two weeks than most field agents manage in a year. Even if it wasn’t entirely intentional. Possibly because you’re in it. Messy. Immediate. There’s something to be said for proximity.” He gave Umberto a sharp look. “Though some basic training wouldn’t go amiss.

Umberto offered a one-finger salute.

Redmond ignored it and turned the medallion slowly in his fingers. “You said the tree stump bore the same insignia?

Yak nodded. “Sure did, but only when the moonlight hit it.

And the figure you followed. They just disappeared?

Like the last slice of pie when no one’s looking,” Yak replied, too quickly.

Given his history with pastry, I didn’t doubt it.

Fascinating.

We’d been traveling for just over an hour when Yak suddenly shouted, “Stop the cart!

He leapt out, adding a somersault, because of course he did.

I think I recognize that rock,” he cried, pointing to a medium-sized boulder just past the tree line.

Are you sure? It looks like every other rock,” Carrie said, visibly unimpressed.

Something about the shape. The light was different, it was dark. But I definitely stopped here. For a quick nibble.” Yak darted over, ducked behind the rock, then popped up grinning. “Yep. Crumbs,” he said, holding up his palm. “I was definitely here.

Excellent.” Redmond actually beamed. “Well done. Lead us the rest of the way. I want to see your stump.”

You know,” Day murmured as we climbed out of the cart, “in any other circumstance that would be a really weird thing to say to someone.

Trunch tied the oxen to a nearby tree.

Right,” Yak said proudly. “This way.

We’d been walking for nearly an hour when Wikis suddenly stopped and sat down.

Are you alright?” Carrie asked.

Wikis tossed some leaves and sniffed the air. “I’ll catch up. Just need to check something.

We continued without her for about ten minutes before Yak started to slow down.

His confident stride gave way to small hesitations. Pauses. Glances over his shoulder.

And then: Wikis. Sitting cross-legged on the forest floor, right in front of us.

At first, no one said anything. Then Carrie shaded her eyes, squinting through the trees.

I can see the oxen.

Everyone stopped. Yak froze mid-step.

Carrie pointed. Sure enough, just beyond the thinning canopy, the cart sat in clear view. The oxen blinked at us placidly. One of them sneezed.

I took a turn… somewhere,” Yak said, voice small.

Umberto let out a long growl that sounded like it started in his spine. He spun and hacked down a nearby tree with two frustrated swings of his axe.

Trunch sighed. Din rubbed his temples.

Yak slumped onto a nearby log, defeated. “It looked different at night. I had pastry crumbs and moonlight to guide me. It all made sense in the dark.

You did your best,” Din offered gently, crouching beside him.

Trunch gave Yak’s shoulder a supportive squeeze.

I’m more of a city person,” Yak said softly.

Wikis hadn’t said a word. She just stared at Yak, head tilted, like she was trying to figure out if he was a puzzle, or a rare fungus.

Then, without a word, she walked over, yanked off his boot, sniffed the sole, picked off a piece of dirt, licked it, and vanished into the trees.

What just happened?” Redmond asked flatly.

Wikis,” Day replied calmly.

She’s a little odd,” Osman said, carefully choosing his words.

Possibly unhinged,” Redmond added.

Jonath, apparently unfazed, pulled a slightly bruised apple from his pocket and was about to take a bite when—thwap! An arrow exploded the fruit, pinning the remains to a tree beside him.

Din, Day, and Umberto drew weapons in a blink.

Wait!” Carrie called holding up a hand.

A rustle.

Wikis popped her head out from a bush, eyes bright. “This way,” she giggled, and waved us over.

She led us through the trees like a fox that had learned cartography. Yak’s trail—faint, meandering, completely invisible to the rest of us—snaked and doubled back through the underbrush.

He could’ve cut this time in half if he just walked in a straight line,” Wikis muttered, brushing aside a fern. “He went around that stump. Twice. Once backwards.” She pointed to a squat stump off to the left.

It took nearly an hour, but eventually the trees parted, and we saw it.

The clearing. And in the center—the stump.

Weathered. Wide. Old.

Its bark was grey and cracked like parched earth.

It was midday. The sun hung directly above us, casting a halo of dappled light across the clearing.

Redmond adjusted his glasses.

Now let’s see what secrets you’re hiding.”

We examined the stump and its surroundings for over an hour. Carrie fluttered through the nearby trees; the rest of us scoured the underbrush. Umberto confidently strode onto the stump, arms raised as if asking to be taken by the gods.

Wikis found multiple tracks—other than ours—all humanoid, leading into and out of the clearing. Redmond, Osman, and Jonath wrote pages and pages of notes, meticulously documenting every moss patch, tree root, and awkward silence.

All of it led to nothing.

Eventually, Day and Yak wandered off. They returned some time later, just as the rest of us slumped into exhausted disappointment. Day had a couple of rabbits slung over his shoulder. Yak cradled a pouch full of berries, tubers, and herbs.

Some of these we can eat now,” Yak said. “The rest… I’ve got drink ideas.

Umberto immediately rose and marched over to the largest tree. He started swinging at it with a rage and fury that made everyone take notice.

The pile of Dan’del’ion artifacts sat on the grass. Redmond had tried placing them on the stump earlier—nothing had happened.

Carrie stared at them, then leaned over and whispered something to Wikis. Wikis narrowed her eyes, then whispered something to her pouch.

She turned back to Carrie and nodded.

Together, they stepped forward, each plucking a medallion from the pile.

Wait. What are you doing?” Redmond stood, alarmed.

Call it investigating,” Carrie replied coolly, lifting the chain above her head.

Carrie, Wikis—don’t be rash,” Trunch called, voice tight with concern.

We don’t know what that will do,” Din warned.

The tension in their voices caught Umberto’s attention. He stopped hacking and stomped back toward us.

Maybe it’s time we found out,” Carrie said.

And then they slipped the medallions over their heads.

Jonath scribbled frantically in his notebook. Yak stared, open-mouthed, berries falling from his hand. Din sighed. Trunch and Day instinctively prepared spells, hands crackling with energy.

Three pounding heartbeats passed.

Carrie screamed. She dropped to her knees, clutching her head. Blood trickled from one ear.

Wikis, without a word, turned and began walking into the forest.

Get it off her!” Din shouted.

Umberto rushed forward, grabbing Carrie’s shoulders as she writhed. Day and Trunch dove in—hands fumbling, twisting at the chain. It wouldn’t budge. Carrie screamed again.

And then—with a final wrench—the medallion came loose.

She collapsed, gasping.

Redmond stood frozen, pale. Jonath scribbled faster.

Hey, guys.” I pointed toward the trees.

Wikis was still walking. She didn’t brush aside branches. She tripped over roots. Rocks hit her knees. She didn’t seem to notice.

Fuck! Stop her!” Din yelled.

Wikis!” Day and Umberto bolted after her.

Carrie groaned. “Ow… my head.

There was a thud, a scuffle. Shouting.

Then: “Get off me!” Wikis shrieked.

Day emerged holding the medallion, panting, his other hand raised in surrender. Wikis stood bow taut, arrow tip flicking between Day and Umberto.

What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened?” she snapped.

Moments later we were gathered near the stump again. Wikis still had her bow taut, but aimed straight down. Her knuckles were moon white with tension.

You don’t remember anything? Either of you?” Redmond pushed his spectacles up. “Anything at all could be vital.

Nothing,” Carrie said, holding her head. “Just blackness and a splitting pain.

I was standing here,” Wikis said uneasily, “and then I was over there. And Umberto had me pinned to the ground.” She raised her bow and pointed it at him. 

Easy, Wikis” Day, calmly pushed the bow back down.

You weren’t listening,” Umberto growled. “I had to tackle you. You wouldn’t stop walking.

Well,” Redmond sighed, “Neither of you remember anything. That’s not very helpful.

That’s not fair,” Trunch spoke up. “You saw what happened. Clearly Wikis had no control. Carrie was bleeding from her ear.

Maybe we just need someone more strong-willed,” Umberto grunted and dropped a medallion over his neck.

Oh shit!” Din sprang to his feet as Umberto began marching toward the tree line, same as Wikis.

Carrie darted in front of him, waving her hands. “He’s not even blinking!

We need to stop him!” Redmond shouted.

Oh sure,” Din snapped, “you want to try?” and dashed after him.

It took Din, Day, and Trunch to slow Umberto down. Yak removed the medallion. Carrie slapped him across the face.

Umberto blinked. “Well?

You’re a fucking idiot,” Din snapped.

But at least I remember.” Umberto turned to Redmond. “There was a voice. Deep. Dark. Old.

Now that is helpful. And Interesting. What did it say?

Return.

Return?” Redmond echoed.

Just… ‘return’.” Umberto stood with his hands on his hips, smug as anything.

Return where?” Osman asked.

Where indeed?” Redmond muttered, eyes narrowing. He turned slowly. “If that’s north, then they both walked…

He pointed into the trees. “That’s fascinating.

What is?” Carrie asked.

Redmond looked at Umberto. “Where were you going, exactly?

Umberto paused. “I—uh…

Toward Castle Ieyoch,” Redmond said, matter-of-fact. “You were both heading toward the castle.

Silence spread like spilled ink. Even the wind seemed to hold its breath.

We sat around the clearing in a loose ring of disappointment. The sky had begun to shift into that bruised-blue that comes just before nightfall. The earlier clouds had long floated away. Day leaned against a tree, arms crossed. Wikis sat sharpening a dagger without urgency. Umberto, much to Redmond’s surprise, sat under a tree reading. Yak was lying flat on his back, staring at the canopy.

I’m done,” he muttered. “This is too much. We’ve faced graveyards, attacks, undead cats, … and now we’re putting on jewellery that makes you bleed out your ears and wander off like you’ve been cursed.

You’re not wrong,” I said. “But also, we’re already out here.

Redmond, pacing near the stump, turned sharply. “We stay until moonrise.

There were groans. Trunch opened his mouth to argue, but Osman spoke first.

He’s right,” he said quietly. “If the glyph only appeared under moonlight before… we should test it again. Under similar conditions.

So we waited.

The sun dipped low. Shadows stretched like yawns. And then, just as the moon crested the tree line, a pale light spilled across the clearing—dappled and uncertain—and the stump glowed.

Not brightly. Not dramatically.

But the symbol appeared. Faint and flickering. Like a memory trying to be remembered.

Everyone leaned in.

Nothing happened.

Jonath cautiously approached the stump and began meticulously sketching the glowing insignia.

Redmond whispered something to Osman, who shrugged. Redmond strode forward. “Jonath?

Hmm? the young scribe turned and looked up just as Redmond shoved him fair in the chest. He lost his balance and stepped back onto the stump.

There was a collective gasp. Jonath looked as if he’s soiled himself. Redmond turned to Osman, frustrated. Osman just smiled. Jonath let out a sigh.

Bloody hell, Redmond. You gave me a heart attack.

Redmond gave a wry smile then suddenly turned and tossed a medallion to Jonath. “Catch

Instinctively, Jonath caught it, dropped his notebook in the process.

There was a pulse. A blink.

And he was gone.

Just… gone. Before his notebook hit the ground. 

The clearing erupted.

WHAT THE HELL?!” Wikis shouted, springing to her feet.

JONATH!” Din screamed, stumbling forward to where the scribe had been. “Redmond, you son of a …”

Wikis was fast. Her bow came up, taut and steady, aimed squarely at Redmond’s chest. Her eyes were wild. Focused. Daring him to give her a reason.

He’s fine,” Redmond said too quickly, too smoothly. “He’s gone through. We needed to know if it worked.

You could’ve warned him,” Din snapped.

You could’ve gone yourself,” Trunch growled.

“We had to know if—”

You didn’t have to do anything,” Umberto interrupted, voice like thunder. “You chose to send someone else.

We’re trying to avert a catastrophe,” Redmond said, chin high. “These things are expected. Every White Raven is trained for this. All of us, orphans, no family, no ties. So we can do what others can’t. So when we vanish, there’s no one left behind to mourn.

Umberto smoldered with fury “You speak of sacrifice like it’s noble. But true sacrifice is chosen, not assigned. You played roulette with a life that wasn’t yours to wager.

“You sent him without consent.” Trunch bellowed.

A soldier doesn’t send his comrade through an untested gate. A leader doesn’t either.” Din spat “You’re a coward.

We aren’t soldiers” Redmond sneered. “We’re investigators. We don’t technically exist. We act in the shadows. No one knows who we are, or what we do.

That doesn’t make it right,” Day said coldly.

Perhaps, in your view. But I did what was necessary” Redmond replied.

No,” Carrie stepped forward. “You did what was easy.

There was a long silence.

Then Umberto strode forward and shoved a medallion into Redmond’s chest. “You’ve got a choice. Go after him. Or wait here. See if he comes back. Either way, we’re going back to Dawnsheart. You’re on your own.

Osman looked to Redmond, stunned and rattled. Redmond held the medallion like it weighed far more than gold.

We’re leaving,” Din announced.

And we did.

We walked. Not fast. Not slow. Just… enough.

Fifteen minutes passed.

A scream.

Then crashing. Splintering branches. Footsteps pounding the forest floor behind us.

And then: Redmond, Osman, and Jonath—barreling through the trees.

RUN!” Osman bellowed as they dashed past.

Behind them, shadows. Shapes. Sleek. Dark. Moving quickly.

We turned.

No more debates. No more planning.

Just running.

Portents, Paperwork, and Pruning

Chronicles of Klept: Chapter XVII


Three medallions sat in the center of the table. No one touched them. No one even leaned too close. They just… sat there. Heavy. Silent. Sharp edges catching the lantern light in ways that felt deliberate.

Possession of a single Dan’del’ion artifact is an act of treason against the Crown,” I said quietly.

And we’ve got three.” Din was stern. You could see the concern setting in his brow, slow and stubborn, like a badger digging in for winter.

Wikis exhaled loudly. “We have four.” She pulled another from her coat and tossed it onto the pile. Carrie gave her a look. “It’s the one Klept showed us on the way to Nelb. I … accidentally put it in my pocket. Sorry.” She stepped back and whispered something to her pouch, just quiet enough that the shiny things could hear it… and no one else.

Four potentially cursed and definitely illegal relics” mused Trunch “If we wanted to get the Grin shut down before we officially open, this will do it.

Don’t forget the loot from Brenne’s.” Yak tossed a small black box onto the table. Inside: the brooch, and that folded scrap of parchment none of us could decode.

Day stood and crossed the room to the shelf behind the bar. “Since we’re bringing out all the cursed heirlooms…

I don’t think the egg’s connected to this” Din called after him.

Not the egg.
Day reached high, grabbed the brick from the top shelf, and tossed it gently across the room.
This.

Carrie caught it and placed it down next to the others.

Yak was hunched in his chair, arms crossed and feet tucked up, casting suspicious glances toward the skeletal cat curled on the armchair nearby.

I still don’t trust it,” he muttered. “Bones. What kind of name is Bones?

The descriptive kind,” Umberto replied, not looking up. He’d been unusually quiet.

Din exhaled through his nose, slow and deliberate. 

So, in total we have… four medallions, a resurrection brick and, and a box containing a brooch and a piece of parchment with some very bad vibes?

Day returned to the table. “We can’t talk to anyone outside of this group about this. Except Tufulla. He has to know. We can’t risk someone else finding out about this.

I hate having to sneak around. It’s so ineffective,” Umberto was clearly grappling with his natural in-your-face state and the understanding that this needed to be kept quiet, at least for now.

There was silence for a beat.

Then: shff — Trunch slid a small square of parchment across the table toward Yak.

Draw it.

Yak blinked. “The stump?

Trunch nodded.

With a sigh, Yak pulled a charcoal nub from his pocket, hunched over the page, and began sketching. His tongue stuck out slightly in concentration.

A minute passed.

He held it up with a grin. It was… generously, a stump. The proportions were off, the perspective nonexistent, and the glowing sigil resembled the web of a spider on narcotics..

Trunch took it without blinking. “And we know about this,”  he said, holding it up.

A knock at the door.

The entire table froze. No one ever knocked. Not here. People just… walked in.

Day threw some cloth over the table.

Carrie tried to act naturally.

Umberto was up in a flash.

He flung the door open like it had insulted him. Standing outside, smiling and perfectly unbothered, was a familiar young lad, the one Tufulla has talked to the other night. The one with the tray of morning ales.

Umberto leaned down until they were eye-to-eye, which didn’t require much leaning.
What do you want?” he barked.

Din stood, raising a calming hand.
He’s just a kid, Umberto.

The boy smiled brightly, unfazed.
Note from the High Reader,” he said, holding out a folded parchment. “I mean, from the Mayor. From Tufulla. Says he has information and needs to talk to you right away.

I sighed. “Of course he does. That man has impeccably eerie timing.

Umberto snatched the letter, dropped a couple of copper into the boy’s hand, and gave him a gentle nudge back toward the street.

Then, he stepped into the alley, glanced across it, scowled, and shouted,
What the fuck are you looking at? Go back to your knitting!

The blind across the way dropped instantly.

He came back in, slammed the door with enough force to rattle a beam, crossed the room to the bar, poured himself a mug of ale, and downed it in one long pull.

No one else said a word.

Day scooped up the cloth and artifacts, securing it together in a little bundle.

Just in case” he assured the group, placing them in his pack.

We filed out of the Grin into the soft grey morning. As we reached the corner of the alley, Din suddenly stopped.

Wait.

He turned on his heel and jogged back.

The group watched in silence as he reached through the doorway, unhooked the key from just inside, and locked it with a quiet click. He gave the handle a firm tug to be sure.

Din returned, handing the key to Trunch. 

Umberto gave a small grunt. “You locked the door?

We’ve only just started getting it into shape,” Din replied. “And we’re new in town. Better to be safe than suddenly out of ale.

Carrie blinked. “Wait… there’s a key?

I leave it hanging just inside the door. Just in case there’s ever a moment no one’s here. I trust you all more than anyone else.

We’ve really only known each other for a few days” Trunch put the key into his pocket.

Exactly,  and that’s still a few days more than I’ve known anyone else in this town.

That got a small chuckle from Day.

And with that, we turned and headed for the church, medallions safely stowed, questions forming in our minds, and behind us, the sound of a blind being closed.

There was a small commotion outside the old rectory, now commandeered by municipal bureaucracy under the disgraced former Mayor, Lord Roddrick, and rebranded as the Mayoral Office. Two guards were attempting to placate a small group of local vendors.

Acting Mayor Tufulla is currently in an important financial meeting. He’ll hear your grievances as soon as it concludes.”

The other added calmly, “In the meantime, we ask that you patiently wait.

Reader Fenna stood at the church doors a little further down, her expression brightening when she saw us. She was dressed in slightly more formal robes than usual, clean lines, richer fabric, the faint shimmer of silver threading along the sleeves. A sermon-day ensemble.

Good morning Reader Klept, and friends.” She stepped forward, voice warm but low. “I’m just about to give the mid-morning sermon. You’re welcome to stay, of course — though I thought Tufulla would have had you doing it.” Her gaze settled on me, equal parts teasing and hopeful.

I smiled, thinly and replied dryly.“Apparently, he has other plans for me.

She nodded, apologetically. Then leaned in, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.

He’s not in a meeting, he’s just avoiding people. He’s expecting you, though. Head on through the side door… but be warned, he’s in a mood the likes of which I’ve never seen.”

We made our way inside, cutting through the heavy hush of the church, the scent of incense and old stone hung in the air. Din did his best not to clank across the flagstones in full plate, but the effort was admirable more than effective. There were a few muffled gasps from scattered pews as Umberto strode in front, chest out, loincloth fluttering with every purposeful step, axe gripped like he was expecting heresy behind every pillar.

Then came Day, hair in a long braid down his back, moving with the kind of effortless grace only elves seemed to master. The gasps softened. A sigh or two followed. One young woman at the end of a pew visibly swayed, caught herself on the bench, and then slowly slid to the floor with all the conviction of someone overcome by divine vision.

Carrie, suddenly aware of a room full of eyes, lit up like a festival. She twirled on her heel, struck a pose, and blew kisses as she walked, basking in the attention like it was sunlight she’d been waiting for all morning.

The side door behind the pulpit creaked open into the office. Tufulla was pacing inside. The desk bore witness to chaos: scrolls, letters, ink smudges, half-drunk tea, and a half-eaten pear that looked like it had been forgotten mid-bite.
We filed in like schoolchildren returning from recess, untidy, slightly guilty of something, fully expecting a lecture. Din quietly closed the door behind us.

Do you know,” Tufulla began, not looking up, “how many forms I’ve signed this week that I technically shouldn’t have? The mayoral guidelines haven’t been updated since the Pumpkin Blight of 1543.

He picked up a parchment and waved it like a flag of defeat. “According to this, if you wish to house four chickens on your property, you may do so freely.

Day raised a brow and nodded solemnly.

But,” Tufulla continued, “should you add a fifth chicken, you must apply for a permit, which costs seventeen silver and one button, paid in person to the mayor.” He slapped the parchment down and placed a small, dull button on top with quiet menace.

Do you know what happens if a street vendor submits their permit application on the wrong day of the week?

Yak shrugged. I shook my head.

Nothing. It just gets filed in the wrong drawer until someone dies or retires.” He sighed. “In the church, there’s continuity. A scripture survives for centuries. Change one verse, and there’s outrage. Cloister riots, candlelit protests. People care. But taxes? Regulations?” He threw his arms wide. “They get rewritten every time someone sneezes in council chambers, and then someone misplaces half the paperwork.” He paused, then added, almost as an afterthought,“Incidentally, you do not need a permit to house a bear.

He dropped into the chair behind the desk like a man who’d fallen into a well and wasn’t sure if it was worth climbing out.

I stepped forward “You know there are those who believe the church should change a little too. Modernize. At least adjust to the changing ….”

Tufulla waved a hand, dismissing the thought with priestly efficiency. “Yes, yes. That’s a concern for the next High Reader.

He glanced at me as he said it, just briefly, but I suddenly felt uneasy. 

Then, abruptly, he stood.

But that’s not why you’re here.” His voice lost all of its earlier tone. “You’re here because something has begun.

He moved to the window, arms behind his back, watching the steeple shadows stretch across the cobblestones outside.

I’ve made some inquiries, with my contacts in the White Ravens. There are reports of Castle Ieyoch being repaired, rebuilt. There have been other incidents, like what you saw in Nelb, of people, how should I put this? Not staying dead.

I imagine that might be hard to accept, as a man of faith” Trunch reasoned.

Tufulla’s expression didn’t flinch. “The White Ravens’ reports align with dozens from the general populace.” He gestured vaguely toward the mountain of parchment. “Undead in the forests. Skeletal things. Corpses walking. Some with Dan’del’ion markings.

Yak raised his arms, moaning theatrically with his best zombie impression. Carrie snorted, barely containing a giggle.

He turned back to us, voice steady now, “All heading the same way. Toward the castle.

Trunch stepped forward, posture straight, voice steady. “We’ve done some investigating of our own,” he said. “After Nelb, we went back. Brandt wouldn’t speak to us again, but we found… signs. Yak followed a hooded figure into the forest. Watched him vanish at a stump.

Tufulla’s eyes narrowed slightly.

Trunch nodded toward Yak, who gave a little shrug and a nod of confirmation.

Trunch continued, “the stump glowed in the moonlight. With the same sigil as these.” He motioned to the table.

Day was already moving. He unwrapped the cloth bundle and began laying out the artifacts with the reverence of someone disarming a curse. First the medallions. Then the brooch. The parchment. The brick.

Tufulla’s earlier irritation vanished like mist. He stepped closer, brows drawn tight.

He picked up the brick, turned it over in his hands. “I think you’ve accidentally wrapped up part of your renovations.

Nope,” Day replied flatly. “That’s meant to be there. It resurrects things.

There’s a skeletal cat running around our tavern right now,” Wikis added, cheerful as ever. “His name is Bones.

“I see” Tufulla said quietly, placing the brick back on the table like it might bite. “You might need a permit for the cat, I’m not sure.” He picked up a medallion, turning it so the light caught the twisted dandelion in the center.

This is deeply concerning,” he said. “These are incredibly rare. The White Ravens might come across one, maybe two a year. The fact that you’ve collected all this in a matter of days…” He trailed off, gaze moving from face to face. “I’m thankful you brought them to me.

He gestured toward the folded paper. “What’s written on that?

We’re not sure,” Carrie said, stepping forward. “Could be names. Could be a recipe.” She smiled at Din, who did not return it but instead folded his arms. 

We want to go back to the stump. With your blessing.” he said carefully.

Tufulla didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he turned to his desk, cleared a space with one practiced sweep, and began writing. The scratch of the quill filled the room.

That’s not a yes,” Umberto muttered.

Tufulla finished the note and sealed it with wax. Then, without ceremony, he turned and walked to the far window where a large, pale-feathered raven waited silently on the sill, so still it might have been carved from bone.

Solstice,” Tufulla said. “My familiar. She doesn’t eat bread crumbs or deliver romantic poetry I’m afraid, but she’s very good at getting messages to the right people.” He tied the note to her leg.

Day leaned closer, curious. “I have one of those too.” He extended a hand. A large spider crawled from his sleeve and settled on his palm.

Wikis squeaked and took two steps behind Trunch.

Solstice is going to send request too the White Ravens. For an investigation team.” Tufulla explained, watching the bird take flight. “Experts in Dan’del’ion history. Possibly more knowledgeable than even our friend Klept here.

Tufulla turned back to the group. “I need you to wait. They should arrive by morning. Return to the stump with them. Do not try to be heroes, not yet.

Umberto rolled his eyes. “So we’re babysitting more chroniclers now?

Specialists,” Tufulla corrected. “Not chroniclers. And if even half the rumors about what’s happening at that castle are true, you’ll want their help.

He let his gaze fall on the table of artifacts again. “You can take those with you. But leave the parchment – I quite like puzzles. Maybe I can figure it out.

We turned to leave when Tufulla stopped us “Go out the front door please – you wouldn’t want to disturb Reader Fenna’s sermon. And take this.” He handed me a piece of parchment covered with faded ink and numbers.

What’s this?

I have no idea actually. I think it’s an inventory, or a ledger. From about 60 years ago.

Day raised an eyebrow.

Tufulla leaned in and lowered his voice, “Apparently, I’m in some kind of important financial meeting,” a mischievous glint sparked in his eye. “When you leave, wave it around, put on a bit of a show. Make it look convincing.

Carrie snatched the paper from my hand before I could respond.

That,” she declared, twirling toward the door with a beaming grin, “is something I can definitely do.


By the time we’d ambled through the market and got back to the Grin, the light had begun to shift to that early afternoon glow that makes the dust look charming.

We could open after this stump business,” Din said, dropping his gauntlets onto the bar with a tired clatter. “Assuming we don’t die or get arrested first.

Carrie nodded, hands on hips, surveying the space. “We’d need to finish the upstairs eventually, but that’s a big job. Big jobs mean coin.

Speaking of coin,” Day added, running a hand along the bar’s polished-enough top, “we’re beginning to run low. Or at least I am. I can’t speak for everyone else.

There was a general murmur of agreement, the kind that’s polite but undeniably grim.

I mean, we got paid for clearing out those crypts,” Day continued. “But nothing since then.

Several eyes turned toward me.

I raised my hands slowly. “Tufulla will pay you. I promise. He’s honest. He understands the weight of what he’s asking us to do.

From the church coffers or the city’s?” Trunch asked.

I’m not sure,” I admitted. “Maybe both. Depends who’s feeling more generous—or guilty.

And when?” Umberto growled, arms crossed, brow furrowed so deeply it looked like he was trying to fold his entire face in half.

I’ll speak to him,” I offered quickly. “Today, if it helps. I’m sure something can be arranged.

There was a pause.

Make it soon,” Umberto said. “Otherwise I start charging by the day. Or the body.

I’m not sure that’s legal,” I said.

I’m not sure I care,” he replied, adjusting his loincloth and reaching for a mug.

There was a brief lull as everyone sat with that thought. The quiet weight of unpaid effort. Of coin thinning in pouches.

Well,” Trunch said, sitting back with a shrug, “opening the doors would at least bring in something. Doesn’t have to be grand yet. Just open.”

I looked around the room – it was far from being a town hotspot, but I’d sat and drank in worse. “You’ve got rustic charm. Limited seating.” Bones leapt onto the bar, much to Umberto’s annoyance, “Haunted ambiance. There’s potential.

We’ll definitely need more chairs and tables if we are to open,” Trunch added. “There’s a salvage yard just outside the walls. I saw a few pieces that might do. At least for now until we can afford something better.

We have ale,” Umberto said, tapping one of the new kegs with something approaching restrained pride. “That’s all we need.

And,” Yak added, ducking behind the bar and reappearing with a squat, dusty glass bottle. He held it aloft like a relic unearthed from a forgotten tomb. ““We also have this. Gentlefolk, prepare your tastebuds.

Everyone leaned back.

Umberto’s eyes narrowed. “Oh no. You take that and fuck right off.

Din scowled. “We are not serving smelt in our bar, Yak

What’s Smelt?” Trunch asked, peering at the bottle like it might suddenly blink at him.

Sulker’s Fire,” I offered. “More commonly known as Smelt. Technically a spirit, functionally a solvent. Smells like regret and burns like memory.

It’s originally an orcish grain spirit.” Umberto eyed the bottle like it was the one thing from his childhood he hadn’t forgiven. “They also use it to strip rust from weapons, and start fires in wet weather.

Some people tried to distill it further” Din added, “tried to make it more drinkable and failed

It tastes somewhere between scorched grain, brass, and shame.” Wikis spoke with her head down, as if she’d just tasted a bad memory.

Yak grinned, unfazed. “Yes, yes. But this isn’t just Smelt. I’ve been tinkering. A bit of toasted nut mash. Caramelized roots. Spiced bark. Floaty bits.

Floaters?” Carrie winced, nose wrinkling.

He held the bottle up to a lantern. Bits drifted lazily inside, suspended like pickled secrets: golden flecks, slivered nuts, something suspiciously leaf-like. “It’s aged.” He said, practically beaming.

In a cask?” Din asked, hopeful.

In my pack for weeks” Yak replied, “then behind the flour sacks. For three days.

We’re going to die,” Umberto muttered.

Trust me,” Yak said, already pouring. The smell hit first—smoky, nutty, buttery, with an odd sweetness that hovered like mischief. We each took a glass. Mismatched. Cracked. Carrie’s still had wax on the rim.

We hesitated. Then, cautiously, sipped.

A beat.

Oh,” Wikis said softly.

Wow,” Carrie blinked.

This is… weirdly good,” Din admitted.

Nutty,” Trunch mused. “Like roasted hazel or… almond?

I’m getting caramel,” I said. “And something warm. Clove?

It’s smooth,” Day added, looking at bottle and the Sulker’s Fire label. “I hate how smooth it is.

Umberto downed his in one shot, stared at his glass, then at Yak, then back to his glass. He held it out.

Again.

Yak beamed, already refilling.

I’m telling you,” he said, “no one else in Dawnsheart has anything like this. Give me time, give me coin, or failing that, some moral flexibility, and we can make the Grin the talk of the town.

What do you call it?” Wikis asked.

I haven’t settled on a name yet – I’m thinking about calling it a ‘Goblin’s Nut’ on account of the nutty flavour.

Umberto’s drink came out his nose. 

Carrie giggled “Imagine trying to keep a straight face when people order it”.

Day smiled and gently shook his head. “A few more tables and chairs,” he said scanning the room and counting on his fingers. “Ale. Yak’s mystery spirits. We could do  a soft open.”

A soft open?” Wikis looked intrigued. “Like a trial run?

Exactly,” Din nodded. “We’ve got ale, a roof, and at least one drink that might be legal. That’s a tavern in a lot of other towns.

And if we do it right,” Yak added, swirling the last drops of his concoction in a glass, “people talk. Word spreads. We get locals. Adventurers. The odd bard with a coin pouch and no sense of danger. Enough to keep the shelves stocked and the lights on.

Enough to pay for more than stale bread and borrowed furniture,” Carrie said.

We open the doors,” Din said, “and maybe it keeps us from having to take every bone-rattling, ghost-haunted job that comes through town.

That’s a terrible sales pitch,” Umberto muttered.

It’s honest,” I replied.

He grunted. Which, in Umberto’s language, was close to agreement.

After some more discussion around money, and some gentle urging from Umberto (the kind that involved axe-pointed gestures and the words “backpay or blood”), I left to speak with Tufulla about providing payment to the group for “services rendered,” as Trunch put it.

The others headed out to see what furniture they could wrangle from the scrapyard, muttering about carts, splinters, and whether “structurally compromised” counted as rustic charm.


The next morning dawned with the promise of clouds and the inevitability of poor decisions. I returned to the Grin just after sun-up, three figures trailing behind me like mismatched shadows.

They were all dressed in variations of scholarly disrepair, tweeds and robes, ink-stained cuffs, boots that had seen more libraries than dirt. I ushered them quickly inside and closed the door behind us.

Everyone,” I said, stepping forward, “this is Redmond, Jonath, and Orsen. Investigators. Archivists. Technically… specialists.” I lowered my voice and tilted my head toward the window. “White Ravens.

They don’t look like specialists,” Umberto muttered, eyeing the trio like he was deciding which one he’d lose patience with first. “They look like they’d lose a fight to a side of beef.

This is Umberto” I said to the investigators, “And over here we have Day, Carrie, Trunch, Din and Yak. And that’s Wikis on the stairs.

She was sitting halfway up, coat loosely draped, legs apart in her usual stance of unbothered confidence, dangling a piece of string for Bones. The skeletal cat leapt and twisted, bones clacking merrily as he darted between her boots.

Who’s a ferocious little death machine,” she cooed, wiggling the string and completely ignoring the small group clustered at the door. 

Bones launched again, this time vanishing under her coat.

The tallest of the three, Redmond, cleared his throat and straightened his spectacles with a sniff of academic disdain. He looked back at Umberto. “Physical prowess is not the benchmark of expertise, Mr Umberto. Our contributions are of a more… intellectual variety. We bring insight, research, and understanding. Tools you may be less familiar with.

Yak coughed into his cup. Day raised a brow. 

Redmond gave a patient, almost pitying smile. “We’ll stay out of your way—so long as you don’t get in ours. This is a matter of ancient magic and long-lost rites. You wouldn’t understand the layers of complexity involved without a dozen years of foundational—

A yelp.

Wikis stood abruptly, flailing one hand inside her coat while hopping backward down the stairs.

Get it out! Get it out! He’s caught. He’s caught.

What do you mean, caught?” Trunch asked

He’s entwined!” She screamed pointing at her crotch. 

Carrie screamed with laughter. Yak choked on his pastry, Din rose instinctively, then thought better of it. Day just turned, walked to the bar, and poured himself something strong. Osman’s face lost all colour.

A final tug, a pained yelp (from Wikis, not the cat), and Bones dropped to the floor, now dusted in the kind of fluff that didn’t grow on skeletons. He landed upright, proud, tail twitching like nothing had happened. 

Redmond sucked air between pursed lips and huffed. He looked at his partners with an air of disapproval. Jonath, the shortest of the three and already scribbling in a small, leather-bound journal, nodded to himself and murmured, “Fascinating behavioral characteristics…

Welcome to the Goblin’s Grin,” Carrie said holding back further laughter. “We’re thrilled to have you join us on our little adventure. Truly. Try not to die.

Wikis lifted her coat and bent over, then straightened with eyes wide and voice hollow: “It’s all gone.” she said as Bones strutted across the floor, tail high, now fuzzed with mystery fluff. 

Osman swallowed back an urge to throw up.

Redmond cleared his throat with the kind of pomp usually reserved for lectures and death sentences.
If we can all refrain from further… performances,” he said, eyeing Wikis, “I suggest we focus on our task. You do your job, and let me do mine.
He adjusted his collar and turned to Carrie. “By my understanding, High Reader Tufulla is paying you handsomely, from the White Ravens’ coffers, no less, to guide us to a tree stump in the middle of a forest.

Umberto snorted. “We haven’t seen a single coin.

I stepped forward, producing a modest leather pouch and offering it to Trunch. “A thousand gold. For, quote: services rendered, and an advance for ensuring Redmond and his crew don’t get attacked by undead, swallowed by vines, or,” I glanced at Umberto, “offended to death.” He snarled at me. 

Trunch weighed the pouch, nodded once, and passed it to Day.
Day opened it briefly, eyebrows lifting, then handed it to Din.
Din counted out a portion with methodical care, just enough for each of them to feel briefly optimistic, then crossed the room to the bar, crouched, and opened the cupboard behind the counter.

He slid the bulk of the gold beside the egg box with quiet finality.

Carrie frowned. “Why there?

It’s safer here than on our person,” Din said, closing the cupboard. “Especially in the woods. You never know what we’ll run into.

Plenty of bandits roaming the woods in the valley” Yak added. “I should know – I was one, briefly. Once.

Redmond shook his head. 

Better to lose a handful than the whole pouch, if that happens” Day added.

Umberto looked unconvinced, but didn’t argue.

Alright then,” Din said, rising. “Let’s go.

The group shuffled out—boots, belts, bags, and bookish robes rustling in unison. Din was the last to leave, pausing in the doorway to give one last glance around the room.

Then he locked the door to the Goblin’s Grin behind us.

Home is Where The Hops Are

Chronicles of Klept: Chapter XIV


The alley was more of a suggestion than a street. No lanterns, no signage, no guiding light but the dull grey of late afternoon sneaking through the overcast sky. The Goblin’s Grin revealed itself with all the subtlety of a secret too ashamed to be remembered.

Here it is. The Goblin’s Grin.” Avelyn Goldwillow gestured nervously at the collection of wood and stone in front of them.

It slouched between two buildings like a guilty sibling. The kind of place you’d walk past three times before realizing it wasn’t just a boarded-up ruin. Cracked paint peeled from splintered boards. Weather-blackened beams sagged like old men too proud to sit. The windows were the real marvel, filthy things that seemed less like portals and more like the kind of place mold went to retire. There was a hint of color that whispered of a bright and stained past

Above the doorway hung the sign. Or what was left of it.

A single rusted chain held it like a prisoner in stocks. The other had long since snapped, leaving the old board to hang at a mocking angle. On it, barely visible beneath decades of grime, was the faintest trace of a goblin with a broad grin, two mugs of ale raised mid-toast. Age had stolen the joy from it. The colors were bled out, the smile more grimace than glee.

The whole building gave off the distinct impression that it had been condemned more than once, but nobody could be bothered to enforce it.

As we stood clustered around the entrance, a blind twitched in a building opposite. An old woman stared out. She was stoic, thin-lipped, and apparently the embodiment of neighborhood disapproval. She looked us up and down, frowned like we were a stain on the street, and with a slow, disappointed shake of her head, let the blind fall shut again. 

I knew it would have character!” Carrie declared, slapping the doorframe proudly. The beam creaked in protest.

I think it might have tetanus,” I muttered.

Din fell to one knee. Not out of exhaustion. Not out of injury. But reverence. His hammer clanged gently against the cobblestone as he whispered something that sounded suspiciously like a prayer. Umberto stood beside him, fists trembling, chest heaving. He raised his eyes to the sign like a knight beholding a holy relic and muttered, “It’s perfect,” before promptly bursting into tears.

They gathered at the door like a band of misfits summoned to a council meeting. The crooked sign above groaned in the breeze, the rusted chain wailing softly like the building was sighing in its sleep.

Avelyn Goldwillow stepped forward first, perhaps out of duty, perhaps just to end the moment. 

She reached for the door handle, only to pause.

She turned back. “Ah. Right. The key is in your possession, if I remember correctly.

There was a pause.

Then, from somewhere within her coat, Wikis produced it.

She held it aloft between thumb and forefinger, the heavy brass loop catching a rare glint of light. Her eyes scanned the group for confirmation.

Din and Trunch nodded in unison.

Umberto saluted.

Day blinked once.

Yak bowed.

Carrie curtsied.

With a shrug, Wikis stepped up to the door, slid the key into the lock, and gave it a slow turn.

Click.

The sound echoed like prophecy.

Then, with one outstretched arm, she pushed.

The door creaked open, not like a welcome, but like a warning. The smell hit us first.

Piss. Blood. Beer. Rot. Something sweet. Something sinister. Something… unidentifiable. It clawed up our nostrils like a living thing and settled there, defiant.

Umberto stepped forward like a pilgrim entering a sacred shrine. “It’s…” he began, but the words caught in his throat.

Din reached a hand out and touched his shoulder. “Beautiful,” he whispered, voice cracking.

Inside, the tavern was cloaked in gloom. What little light tried to sneak through the windows was smothered by decades of grime, soot, and dried spills. Lanterns hung in disrepair, cracked glass, crooked frames, one still dripping something viscous and suspicious. Din, ever practical, whispered a Light spell into existence. The orb floated above his palm, revealing the Grin in all its unapologetic squalor.

Trunch stepped cautiously across the threshold, boots squelching in something he’d rather not name. The stench curled around him like an old friend. He took it in – the splinters, the stains, the sorrow, and for reasons he couldn’t quite name, he smiled. The rest of us followed him in.

The floor groaning beneath our feet was uneven and warped like it had survived a shipwreck. Sections were nearly worn through. Stains of every possible origin blotched the wood – blood, booze, vomit, time. Scratches and scuffs told stories in languages no one bothered to translate.

The tables were a mismatched congregation of survivors: one with a leg missing and replaced by a bucket, one stacked with old parchment, one so warped with water damage it resembled a half-sunken canoe. The stools didn’t match, and some didn’t even qualify as stools. 

To the left: a raised alcove, meant perhaps for music, or theatre, or sermons. Now? A dumping ground for broken chairs, forgotten flyers, a lopsided crate of moldy apples, and a brass candlestick stabbed halfway through an abandoned shoe.

The fireplace opposite the door probably hadn’t held flame in years. It was blackened with soot, the stones inside charred to memory, as if someone had tried to burn away the sins of the building, and failed.

In front of the fireplace stood two armchairs. They looked like they’d been there since the tavern’s original construction, possibly even before the fireplace itself. Twin thrones of neglect and nostalgia.

One was a high-backed behemoth, upholstered in something that might have once been burgundy velvet but now resembled a patchy tapestry of stains and time. Springs audibly complained when anyone leaned too hard, and one of the wooden legs had been replaced with a bundle of tightly wound cutlery and string. The armrests were worn smooth, grooved by decades of elbows and perhaps the occasional forehead. A faint scent of pipe smoke still clung to it like a loyal ghost.

The second was a sagging, lopsided thing with stuffing peeking through a rip in the seat cushion. Someone had once tried to sew it shut—badly. The result resembled a stitched wound on a drunk bear. A faint bloodstain marked the left armrest, and a mug ring on the headrest suggested it had once doubled as a coaster. It sat slightly askew, tilted toward the fire like it had long since resigned itself to comfort over dignity.

They were hideous. Filthy.

And the moment Trunch sat in one and sighed like a man returning from war, they became home.

But it was the bar that got their attention.

It stood proud. Dark, polished wood. Solid. Unmoving. Relatively untouched by time’s cruelty save for a layer of thick dust. It had obviously been the pride of previous owners, looked after more than anything else. Behind it, barrels, dusty mugs, and rows of bottles that might’ve once held something drinkable. A cellar door lay in the floor just behind. A narrow stone arch led into what might generously be called a kitchen.

A precarious set of stairs clung to the wall just beside the soot-blackened fireplace, winding upward toward a shadowed landing above.

There’s a second level?” Day asked, his tone flat but eyes narrowed with suspicion, as if Avelyn had just withheld a critical detail from a state-sanctioned briefing.

Before she could respond, Wikis was already halfway up the stairs.

Yes,” Avelyn called after her, she unfolded a piece of parchment and glanced at it.  “The, um… official property records list a privy and some living quarters. Four rooms, I believe. Although…

She glanced around the ground floor at the grime-stained windows, the cracked beams, the mildew-shadowed corners, and grimaced.

…the records haven’t been updated in years. No telling what the state of things are up there now.

Carrie, from her perch on the edge of a tattered barstool, raised a brow. “Quarters? Like… sleeping spaces? You mean we could live here?

There was a beat.

Then Din, Umberto, and Yak all turned to one another with the kind of slow, dawning realization usually reserved for prophets or pranksters.

They erupted into a three-way high five that immediately collapsed into a group hug. There were sniffles. There were back pats. Yak attempted a celebratory spin and elbowed a chair.

Avelyn gave a small, exasperated smile. “It was originally constructed as a tavern with residential quarters for the owner and staff. Then used briefly as a small inn. So… yes. Technically, you could live here.

Then we need drinks,” Din declared, fist raised like a general calling for artillery.

Yak and Umberto froze mid-hug. Looked at each other. Nodded.

And ran for the bar.

In perfect sync, they leapt, each aiming to vault the counter with the grace of a triumphant pirate.

It did not go well.

Both of them collided chest-first into the edge, let out matching oofs, and crumpled to the floor in theatrical agony.

There was a long silence.

Din helped Umberto up. Carrie tried, and failed, not to laugh. Yak rolled onto his back and groaned.

And Wikis, bounding down the stairs, shouted, “There’s a dead rat and a sock up there. Just one!

Day quietly moved behind the bar, expression unreadable, hands already at work. He plucked a few dusty glasses from the shelves, inspected them against the flickering magical light, and began polishing them with the least-sticky part of a nearby rag. It didn’t help much.

With a quiet sigh, he reached instinctively for a cleaner scrap of fabric tucked beside the taps, something soft, white, and blessedly absorbent. It worked wonders. Until Tufulla cleared his throat behind him.

Day froze. Looked down at the rag. Looked back up at Tufulla.

Good thread count,” he muttered letting go of Tufulla’s ceremonial sleeve.

Tufulla sighed the sigh of a man who regretted showing up. Again.

Day turned , pulled open a few cabinets, examined a few half-full bottles with labels so faded they may as well have been in ancient draconic, and grimaced at the chunky, amber sludge swirling inside one.

Then he spotted the cellar door.

It was bolted.

He looked at it. Then looked over the bar. One eyebrow arched.

Yak.

The changeling perked up immediately, still lying on the floor, now halfway through a celebratory tumbleweed roll. “Yes, sir?

Day nudged a thumb back at the cellar and with a conspiratorial wink said, “Locked door.”

Yak somersaulted upright, dusted himself off with an unnecessary flourish, and skipped behind the bar. He examined the lock with the reverence of a jeweler, then produced a pair of delicate tools from somewhere beneath his cloak.

Light, please,” he murmured.

Din obliged by moving the orb behind the bar.

With a satisfying click and an unnecessary bow, the door creaked open. A cool draft curled upward.

Yak peered down and whistled “Jackpot.

A single keg  sat nestled in the gloom, untouched, untapped, and, miraculously, still sealed. It was heaved upstairs and months, perhaps years, of dust ceremoniously wiped off revealing with flaking paint: Blacktooth Stout

A moment later, the first mugs were poured.

Frothy. Dark. Questionably consumable.

To victory!” shouted Umberto, raising his mug like a sword as an array of mismatched mugs were passed around.

Tufulla politely shook his head. Avelyn declined too.

Umberto, still holding his mug aloft, turned to me.

To commemorate this holy event,” he said, eyes wild with sincerity, “the Chronicler drinks.

I blinked. “I…”

No excuses,” he bellowed, thrusting the mug into my hands.

Avelyn abruptly stood, brushing dust from her coat. “I’ll return tomorrow with the last of the paperwork,” she said, smiling. “Try not to burn the place down before then.”

The door shut behind her with a clunk.

We make no promises!” Carrie called after her.

Dust danced in the flickering light, glasses clinked, boots thudded against old wood—and for the first time in who knows how long, the tavern echoed with raucous, unfiltered joy.

They drank heartily, with reckless abandon. Tales of the brawl grew taller as time passed. Every punch was now a miracle, every dodge a masterstroke, every stumble an intentional flourish. Syland Thornstar’s name became a punctuation mark—invoked with curses, toasts, and increasingly creative insults.

Someone mentioned Az and the laughter momentarily dipped. 

A hell of a fighter” Din raised a mug in honor of the giant orc. The rest of the group joined in silent toast. The awe lingered. No one said it aloud, but they all knew it: they were lucky the orc hadn’t taken things further.

At one point Trunch wandered over to the bar. He pulled a measuring rod from his sleeve and squinted as he crouched.

Fascinating,” he murmured. “The bar is one-point-five inches taller than standard tavern regulation.

Yak and Umberto slapped the bar in unison.

That’s why we didn’t make the jump!” Yak declared, “We expected it to be standard

You have to wonder if it intentional.” Trunch mused, mostly to himself.

Architectural sabotage,” Umberto growled “A crime against us athletic specimens.

Tufulla stretched with a series of alarming joint pops. “You’ve earned some rest,” he said. “Fighting for this place. Nelb. The church. You’ve absolutely earned it

Trunch, mid-sip, froze. “Ah. Nelb. We should talk…”

Tufulla waved it off. “Don’t worry. I got some information from Klept. I need to do some research. Contact some people. We’ll talk properly in a few days. Until then, you should get to know the town, perhaps…” he glanced around “begin working on doing up this space.

He turned to leave.

Klept, with me,” he said over his shoulder.

I stood. Took a step. And then

…Actually, no.

I blinked. “No?”

No. Stay,” Tufulla said, gentler this time. “Celebrate with your new friends.

Yes!” Din and Yak shouted in unison, raising their mugs. Umberto scowled but nodded. Carrie grinned and shoved another drink into my hand like it was a binding contract.

I hesitated. Then watched as Tufulla disappeared into the alleyway.

Just before the shadows swallowed him, he paused. He knelt beside a barefoot boy, dirty, grinning, no older than twelve. They exchanged a few quiet words. Tufulla pressed something into the boy’s hand. A few coins, maybe. Then ruffled his hair.

They parted like it meant nothing.

What do you think that was about?

I jumped. Yak had silently materialized at my side.

No idea,” I muttered. “But I’m starting to think that man’s been running Dawnsheart from behind pulpit for years.

Yak nodded slowly. “You want the rest of his tart?” Yak pointed to where Tufulla had been sitting, to a half uneaten tart.

…Yes. I believe I do

Eventually, the revelry gave way to restlessness, and the group began poking around for things to fix, break, or catalogue.

Carrie, Day, and Trunch commandeered a table and began a list: lanterns, glassware, stools with more than two legs.

We’ll need beds,” Day muttered.

And chairs that don’t moan when you sit down,” Carrie added.

Trunch nodded, or would have, if he hadn’t already fallen asleep in an armchair, mouth agape, snoring like a bear full of brandy.

Alcohol,” Umberto declared, now balancing atop a cracked stool. “ Everything else is secondary. We must replenish our stock. I will not run a dry tavern. This I swear.

Wikis, meanwhile, had vanished into every shadow she could squeeze through. She prowled the building like a magpie on a mission, cataloguing corners, muttering judgments, collecting shinies. Upstairs she found the old living quarters decrepit but serviceable. Out back, past the crumbling kitchen, she discovered a garden. Wild, overgrown, but undeniably real. A stone well stood in the center. It still worked. She screamed joyfully and tried to climb inside it.

Yak had begun methodically emptying every cupboard.

Half vinegar. Half poison,” he mumbled. “This one’s wine. This one’s probably wine. This one’s… glowing?

He held up a bottle filled with a swirling silver liquid that shimmered like moonlight on mercury.

I’m keeping this one,” he whispered, tucking it into his coat like a sacred relic.

Din found a space on the floor and began to work.

Alone, and silent.

He gathered what he could—twisted forks, bent spoons, dented tankards, warped platters, shattered hinges, mismatched coins, and scraps of discarded metal. A junk pile to most. But not to Din.

He sat cross-legged on the uneven floor, hands hovering over the heap. His brow furrowed. His fingers moved with reverence. And then, slowly, he began to craft. Scraps reshaped. Edges smoothed. Dents vanished. The useless became purposeful. The discarded found meaning. As if each piece remembered what it once was and then became something more.

He finally stood an hour later, and with a little help from Carrie and Day, a metallic mural was hung above the bar. 

It depicted the moment of victory in the property rights brawl.

Yak was mid-bongo on the orc’s prodigious rear, a grin wide on his featureless face. Umberto stood triumphant atop Az’s head, axe raised in the air like a banner. Carrie was blasting her bagpipes directly into the orc’s unconscious face, cheeks puffed with pride. Wikis stood with one foot on Az’s back, her bow raised like a victor’s torch. Din, stood beside the fallen foe fist-bumping a spectral gauntlet of divine light. Trunch stood, arms raised, fingers spread, bolts of crackling shadow magic arcing between his hands. And Day stood at the edge of it all, stoic and composed, brushing his ponytail with casual grace as a shaft of light shone down behind him.

It was absurd. It was heroic. It was beautiful.

A monument to triumph, to friendship. 

The Grin had its crown.

I took my leave then, with Trunch snoring in the armchair, Umberto passed out at the bar, Carrie fluttering from lantern to lantern with a rag in hand, Wikis talking to her pouch of shiny things, and Day meditating silently in the corner. I said goodnight, got a grunt or two in reply, and stepped out into the Dawnsheart evening. Back to my dormitory bed, back to quiet shelves and dusty tomes. As I walked, one thought lingered like smoke in my mind: the prophecy. The part about the outsiders.
I didn’t know if this lot were the ones it spoke of.

But I did know one thing:

This valley was about to get a lot more interesting.

A Grin Worth Bleeding For – II

Chronicles of Klept: Chapter XIII


The arena exploded into movement..

One of Thornstar’s hired brutes was already writhing on the ground, clutching his chest where Trunch’s eldritch blast had landed – steam rising from his tunic, his expression suggesting that he had suddenly remembered somewhere else he urgently needed to be.

Oliver Wolfhouse, Day’s initial opponent, hustled over to the official’s table, asked for his name to  be crossed off the contestant list and promptly headed to the nearest morning ale merchant in the crowd.

Day moved toward Az like water – calm, fast, and quietly deadly. A low sweep, a rising elbow, a strike aimed clean at the orc’s center of balance.

It almost worked.

Az didn’t dodge. He didn’t block. He swatted. A massive forearm caught Day mid-motion and flung him sideways.

Day rolled, sprang up, and was immediately met by two of Thornstar’s mercs who rushed him at once. He dodged the first with ease, slipped behind the second with a twist of his shoulder. But numbers are numbers, and even water wears away stone. A knee caught him in the ribs. A club glanced off his temple. He staggered, blood at his lip, breath ragged.


Across the chaos, Wikis did something profoundly unwise and undeniably on-brand.

She climbed Az.

Not attacked him. Not flanked him.

Climbed.

Like a squirrel assaulting a tree that refused to give over its nuts, she leapt onto the orc’s back and began throttling him, first with her arms, then, when that failed, with her legs. He staggered, arms flailing, trying to grab her, dislodge her, reason with physics.

Stop wriggling!” she hissed “I’m trying to put you to sleep.

Az growled. Loudly. Then more loudly. He began to reach back

… and was cut off by a scream.

Umberto.

He descended upon Az like a small boulder wrapped in rage. Axe raised, chest out, grin feral. The first strike bit deep into Az’s side. The second nearly took his footing. Az roared, stumbled, then turned, and with a single massive swing of his arm, sent Umberto flying across the arena like a very angry sack of meat and testosterone.

Wikis, still latched around Az’s shoulders, blinked. “I think he likes me.


From the moment he charged forward, Din had eyes only for Thornstar.

While fists flew and spells lit the air, Din cut through the battlefield with one purpose, chasing the embroidered menace who kept ducking behind hired meat like a nobleman dodging taxes.

Thornstar pointed. Shouted. Hid.
One of his goons stepped up. Din obliged.

He didn’t just fight, he punished. Every blow from his hammer sounded like a verdict. The poor sod blocking his path took the kind of beating that gets written into tavern songs under the heading “Regret.” When the man finally collapsed with a groan and a vow to become a florist, Din turned again, toward Thornstar, who had just stumbled behind another unfortunate soul.

A shadow flew across the arena.

Correction: Umberto flew across the arena having been batted aside by the huge orc.

Din blinked. Growled. And sprinted to him. He arrived just as Umberto sat up, dazed but still somehow posing. Din reached down—not gently—and yanked him to his feet. There was a beat. A breath. A smile. Then they slammed their weapons together, hammer against axe, in the most dude-bro high-five I’ve ever witnessed.

For the beer!” they howled in unison, charging into the melee like two boars set loose in a festival tent.


Meanwhile, Trunch had other priorities.

After melting a man’s chest hair with an eldritch blast, he strode to Avelyn Goldwillow who was still clutching her scroll like a cursed artifact, and calmly placed a hand on her shoulder.

This way,” he said, not unkindly pointing to the official’s table.

He walked her to the edge of the arena and deposited her near Tufulla.

Please look after this one, Mr. Mayor Your Worshipness,” Trunch said flatly, before turning and blasting two more streaks of violet magic back into the fray without so much as looking.


Yak was art.

He appeared beneath Az like smoke under a door. Rolled, flipped, and carved a perfect slash across the back of a merc’s ankle. The man howled, spun, fell.

Yak, because of course, somersaulted dramatically, launched a dagger mid-air, and shouted: “Wikis!

She caught it. Upside-down. Mid-strangle.

Thank you!” she shrieked, and without hesitation jammed the blade toward Az’s face.

She missed the eye. Got the shoulder.

Az bellowed.

Carrie, watching from the sidelines with her arms crossed like a director watching a stubborn cast finally get it right, gave a nod. Then she stepped forward, snapped her fingers, and sent a burst of glitter so bright and violent it could’ve blinded the sun.

Az staggered back, roaring and rubbing his eyes. 

The crowd?
Cheered. Coughed.
And would be finding sparkles in their boots and bedsheets for the next three weeks.

With a wild screech and an unnecessary cartwheel, Wikis launched herself off Az’s shoulders, twisting mid-air like a drunken bat on fire.

Her coat flared behind her—dramatically.  Like a cape. A moment of pure, unfiltered heroism.

And it became very clear to the front three rows, the official’s table, and at least one passing hawk, that Wikis doesn’t bother with wearing anything else underneath. 

The crowd saw.

All of it.

There was a collective gasp – less awe, more trauma. Children suddenly found their parent’s hands clapping over their faces. Someone in the crowd shouted “MY EYES!

Wikis simply landed and immediately lunged for Az’s ankles.

Blades whirled. Steel clanged. Magic flared. Din and Umberto were locked in some kind of gleeful tag-team fury. Wikis was scuttling between Az’s ankles like a glitter-dusted rodent. Yak disappeared and reappeared with alarming frequency and suspicious souvenirs. Carrie barked orders like a general on opening night.

And then Az got serious.

He looked around, really looked.

Thornstar’s men were scattered and sprawled, groaning in the dirt or limping toward clerics. The crowd was jeering, drinks flying, and somewhere in the chaos, someone had tied ribbons to a fallen merc’s boots.

And Thornstar himself?

He was screaming. Red-faced. Spittle flying. Pointing at Az like an insult made flesh.

Do something, you oversized disappointment! I paid for a champion, not a lumbering embarrassment! Handle it!

Az didn’t move.

He just stood there, fists clenched, chest rising slow and deep. He looked at Thornstar. Then down at the unconscious merc near his feet. Then to the crowd—booing, chanting, ready to erupt.

But then,
Thornstar’s voice dropped. His posture shifted. And he gave Az a look.

Not one of rage or desperation.

Something colder. Sharper.

The kind of look that says: you know what I have. You know what I’ll do.

I understood at that moment. There was more than coin binding that orc.

There was a chain, invisible but ironclad. And Thornstar knew exactly how to pull it.

Az turned back to the fight, and the real damage began.


He roared, deep, guttural, the kind of sound that made bones remember their mortality. He kicked Wikis loose like a child flinging off a sandal. She hit the ground hard and didn’t bounce. Carrie rushed to her, and caught a backhand that knocked the wind out of her chest.

Az swept a hammering fist across the field. Din caught it with his ribs and staggered. Umberto landed a wild hit—Az grunted, then slammed him into the ground so hard the crowd winced in collective sympathy.

Yak went for the ankles again.

Az went for Yak.

Caught him by the hood and flung him like a skipped stone. He landed in a pile of hay and didn’t move for a moment.

Even Trunch’s blasts—steady, precise—were starting to slow, his breathing labored, his movements less theatrical and more strained.

Az stood at the center of it all, chest heaving, blood trickling down one arm—but still towering. Still ready. And for the first time since this farce began, I felt something cold inch up my spine.

They were losing.

And Thornstar was trying to sneak away.

He tiptoed toward the edge of the arena, ducked past a toppled crate, made it to the ropes.

Hey!” someone yelled from the crowd. “You forgot your honor!

Another voice: “You can’t slither out now, fancyboy!

Then a mug hit him square in the back.

He yelped, yelped, and spun, only to be face-to-face with a burly woman holding another drink and a grin that promised violence.

You want that tavern so bad, you gotta fight for it” She sneered and shoved him back into the arena.

He tried again on the far side. This time, two kids tripped him. A man dumped soup on his head. Someone, gods bless them, threw a cabbage.

Again and again, he tried.

Again and again, Dawnsheart shoved him back in.

The crowd wasn’t just watching anymore.

They were participating.

Az charged again.

A blur of muscle and fury, he drove straight through Trunch’s warding gesture, past Carrie’s flash of glitter, and into Din and Umberto with the force of an avalanche. Din’s hammer struck, but barely staggered him. Umberto swung wide, got caught mid-step, and tumbled back into the dirt.

Day moved in to intercept and was shoved aside like a curtain in a breeze.

Wikis scrambled to her feet, clutching something shiny and possibly stolen, and promptly got clotheslined back down with a grunt that sounded suspiciously like “oww.” 

Az was a storm.
A brutal, relentless storm.
And they were the fence posts in its path.

Then, a slight shimmer in the air. A soft breeze.

The group stood straighter. Cuts closed. Limbs steadied. A second wind filled lungs still gasping.

From the sidelines Tufulla, High Reader and newly reluctant mayor, casually dusted off his sleeves, picked up an entire tart tray, and winked.

At Carrie.

She blinked, looked down at her newly unscraped knees, flexed her toes, and gave him a double thumbs up so suspiciously enthusiastic I half expected her to check her pockets for new organs.

Berry tart?” Tufulla angled the tray towards me nonchalantly, “I’m told the berries are from Brightbriar.

I raised an eyebrow at him, but it wasn’t the tart that had my attention. It was the spell itself.

Subtle. Elegant. A whisper wrapped in silk and scripture. No arcane fanfare. No holy thunder. Just… grace, hidden in plain sight.

And the crowd? Not a gasp. Not a protest. Not even a raised eyebrow.

They were too busy watching the glitter-covered halfling and the flying hammer and the orc-shaped wrecking ball to notice.

I glanced nervously at the judges. At the stands.
Surely someone saw it.
Perhaps they missed it.
Perhaps they didn’t care.

Tufulla just shrugged.

That was the moment.

Din roared. Umberto howled. Trunch summoned a crackling lance of shadow, and Carrie drew her blade with flair.

And a fist arrived.

Din’s spiritual weapon—a spectral gauntlet the size of a horse head—arched through the air like divine justice on deadline.

WHAM!

A holy uppercut. Full arc. Straight into Az’s chin.

The orc lifted off the ground.
Fully airborne.
Time slowed.


Az twisted in the air.
People gasped.

crash.

He slammed into the dirt face-first with a grunt that knocked dust into the third row.

Silence.

Then Yak cartwheeled in and began playing bongo drums on Az’s prodigious, glistening buttocks.

Carrie stood over the fallen orc and blasted a bagpipe note directly into his unconscious face.

Umberto stepped up, one foot firmly planted atop Az’s head like he’d just slain a dragon, arms raised to the sky like a statue of masculine ego.

Wikis didn’t celebrate.

She immediately dropped to her knees and began rifling through Az’s pouches with all the focus of a raccoon in a cutlery drawer.

Trunch stood ready, hands raised, knuckles crackling with energy, just in case.

Din, grinning wider than I’d ever seen, turned to his spectral fist and fist-bumped it.

And then, as the dust settled, and, out of the corner of my eye, I caught it.

Day.

Adjusting his ponytail.

Light pierced the clouds.
Somewhere, a choir hummed.
Time itself gave him a moment.

I wrote it down.

Az lay still, a mountain finally toppled, his breath stirring only the dust.

The group stood victorious, scraped, bruised, glitter-dusted, and grinning.

Wikis had found three pouches, a boot dagger, and something that might’ve been a love letter. Din was inspecting the spiritual fist like a proud parent. Umberto posed like he was expecting a statue to be commissioned on the spot. Carrie had launched into an off-key bagpipe rendition of what sounded like a funeral dirge, but may also have been a drinking song.

For a moment, everyone forgot.

And then …

What a waste,” came a voice, sharp and venomous. “You great lumbering oaf! Weak. Pathetic. An embarrassment.

We turned.

Thornstar stood in the center of the makeshift arena, shouting at the unconscious orc. “I paid for strength! For results! And you … you’re just another failure!

He sneered. Loud enough for everyone to hear.

That was his mistake.

Umberto growled. Carrie snapped her fingers. Trunch began charging a spell. Thornstar turned and started to walk away.

Wikis calmly drew an arrow, aimed, and thwip.

The arrow landed squarely in Thornstar’s backside.

He yelped. Clutched his rear like it had betrayed him. Stumbled. Tried to run.

Umberto roared and sprinted after him, caught him within five strides, tackled him with enough force to make the ground wince, and pinned him like a display rug.

Thornstar flailed, squealed, squirmed. But it was over.

The group encircled him.

He looked around.

One merc was groaning on the sidelines. Two more were being half-carried by clerics. One had disappeared entirely. And Az… was still unconscious, face-down, with a bagpipe mouthpiece wedged gently into one ear.

Thornstar sagged. His arms dropped. His head hung.

I yield,” he muttered, voice barely above a cough. “I yield.

The crowd didn’t cheer.

They exploded.

Hats flew. Drinks spilled. Someone threw a pastry. A chant began, disorganized but jubilant.

As Thornstar sulked in the dirt clutching his backside, caked in dust, and stripped of every last shred of dignity, the officials, after a very brief deliberation (and an overwhelmingly raucous cheer from the crowd), stood and announced:

The winners of the Brawl for Legal Ownership of the Property Currently Known as the Goblin’s Grin… are hereby declared!

The crowd erupted. Again.

Umberto and Din, exhausted but positively buzzing at the idea of tavern ownership, immediately chorused, “Hand over the keys then!

Well, there is the matter of signing the property deed,” one of the officials replied. “It must be witnessed by an official from the Office of Records and a high-ranking member of the governing council.

What about her?” Day asked, pointing at Avelyn. “Doesn’t she work for the Office of Records? The shithead with the arrow in his butt seemed to think she did.

The officials all turned to look at Thornstar in unison, and shook their heads.

“And, I believe the Mayor is right there,” Carrie chimed sweetly, pointing at Tufulla, who promptly wiped pastry crumbs off his chest and pretended to look the other way “Does he rank high enough?

Perfect,” beamed Din.

Umberto’s fingers twitched toward an official. “Deed,” he demanded.

One by one, signatures were scrawled across the parchment—some messy, some practiced, one drawn with an unnecessary flourish. Avelyn and Tufulla signed last, exchanging a look of shared disbelief. Hands were shaken. A heavy brass key was ceremoniously handed over.

Din and Umberto held the deed aloft like a pair of revolutionaries who’d just liberated a liquor license. The key passed reverently between the group like a holy relic. The officials pointed them toward the building itself, and with cheers still echoing in the square, they marched off in the direction of their new, ramshackle future.

Meanwhile, Thornstar, freshly healed, though not nearly enough to remove the limp or the glitter, limped toward the unconscious form of Az.

He stood over him for a long moment.

Then spat.
On him.

It was the ultimate insult. The kind that didn’t just reek of disrespect, it marinated in it.

This isn’t over,” he muttered.

A short, elderly woman nearby, dressed in ten layers of shawls and chewing something aggressively, bent down and plucked a tooth from the dirt. Possibly human. Definitely recent.

Ooh,” she grinned, popping it into a gap in her front row. “Perfect fit. I knew it was gonna be a lucky day!

Then, turning to Thornstar with the casual confidence of someone who’d survived six wars and a mule cart accident, she said:

Oi, Fancy boy. Piss off and get over yourself. You lost. Even after you tried changin’ the rules

Thornstar stared at her. She stared right back, daring him to say something.

He didn’t.

He just scowled, turned, and hobbled off,still limping, still glittery, still muttering threats into the air.

And me?

I looked at the group, laughing, cheering, covered in bruises and glitter and at least one smear of celebratory pie.

I don’t know why I followed them.

Habit, maybe. Curiosity. Fate, if you believe in that sort of thing.

But as the new owners of the Goblin’s Grin made their way toward the crumbling tavern I picked up my journal, flipped to a fresh page, and went with them.

Crowds, Confusion, and a Crack to the Jaw

Chronicles of Klept: Chapter XII


The first few rounds went by without much fanfare. 

It was very clear which people had signed up just for the hell of it and which ones thought they had some chance at coming away with a property deed for an extremely dilapidated and possibly possessed tavern. 

One match ended before most people even found a decent spot to sit. A halfling with a flail the size of a goat launched herself at a robed necromancer-looking fellow. He tried to cast something, maybe a curse, maybe a complaint, but she cracked him across the jaw mid-syllable. A front tooth sailed into the crowd. I think someone kept it.


Din’s name was called with the kind of reverence usually reserved for ancient oaths and final warnings.

The bout was billed like some clash of titans. Dwarf versus Dwarf, steel against stone, beard against beard. But the moment Jestern Ebonforge stepped into the ring, shoulders slouched and hammer held more like a broom than a weapon, it was clear this was going to be less war and more reluctant workplace disagreement.

Din, on the other hand, looked… composed. Not bloodthirsty. Not smug. Just ready. Like he’d already measured the weight of this fight and found it lighter than expected.

To Jestern’s credit, he didn’t fold outright. He landed two clean hits, one that made the crowd cheer and the other that made Din blink. But you could tell his heart wasn’t in it. Probably hadn’t been since breakfast.

Din gave him room, literally. No flurries. No showmanship. Just steady footwork and precise counters, until Jestern, panting and blinking through sweat, raised his hands and bowed out before things got bruising.

The crowd clapped. Not roared, not gasped, clapped. It was the sound of satisfied relief. No bloodbath. No humiliation. Just a clean, decent win.

And I’ll admit, I watched Din walk away from the ring with a little more interest than usual. Not because he won, but because of how he chose to win. No ego. No grandstanding. Just quiet strength, like a mountain that doesn’t feel the need to announce itself.

Not long after, a retired city guard went up against a local baker. I assumed it would be a mercy killing. It was not. Turns out kneading dough for thirty years gives you arms. The guard left with a limp and a profound respect for sourdough.


Now this was a pairing I don’t think anybody saw coming.

On one side: Trunch. Grand topknot, brooding silence, and the ever-present sense that something ancient and slightly disapproving lives behind his eyes.

On the other: Holadamos. Dawnsheart’s beloved red Dragonborn, shopkeeper of oddities, occasional fire-breather for delighted children, and the only contestant here who looked like he might’ve brought cookies instead of weapons.

They met in the center before the bout, Holadamos with a wink and a chuckle, Trunch with the slight nod of a man tolerating whimsy. I couldn’t hear their exchange, but from the way Holadamos patted Trunch’s arm and mimed a puff of fire, I gathered there was some sort of prearranged choreography at play.

Sure enough, the fight was… playful. Holadamos unleashed a minor gout of flame that sent a squeal of joy through the younger crowd. Trunch took the hit with a grunt, then responded with a couple of soft blows crackling with a dark energy, although they seemed more sparkle than smite.

They traded a few solid blows, each more theatrical than lethal. The crowd adored it.

At one point, Trunch knocked Holadamos off his feet, gently, but enough for the older Dragonborn to wince and chuckle through it. Trunch didn’t gloat. Instead, he stepped forward, extended a hand, and helped the older Dragonborn to his feet.

What followed was possibly more shocking than the fight itself: the two walked off side by side, not as foes, but as peers. The judges couldn’t decide on a winner. The two fighters didn’t seem to care either. Minutes later, I spotted them on a bench near the concession tent—Trunch sipping tea and Holadamos animatedly recounting something with hand gestures and tail swishes. The fight was declared incomplete and scratched from the ledger completely. 

In one of the more interesting morning fights a wiry farmhand faced off against a druid who, instead of fighting, summoned a goat. The goat did not wait for instruction. The goat attacked. The farmhand fled. The goat was declared the winner. It wandered off and began eating some nearby flowers. The crowd asked if it could fight again.


I’ll say this much: Yak didn’t look like he belonged in a fighting ring. Slouched posture, sleeves too long, a stance that said please don’t hit me, I bruise poetically. The crowd laughed. 

By the end, they weren’t sure if they should applaud or perform an exorcism.

He threw a punch. It landed with all the impact of a polite cough. His opponent, a broad-shouldered bruiser with fists like hammers, took one look at Yak’s form and seemed almost offended. A second later, Yak was on the ground, dazed, hood slipping back slightly.

The big man raised a fist for the finisher.

And that’s when everything got strange.

As the blow descended, Yak looked up, and suddenly wore the exact same face as his opponent. Not a clever mask. Not a passing resemblance.

His face.

Same nose. Same eyes. Same slightly crooked tooth.

The man screamed. Stumbled back like he’d just tried to punch a haunted mirror. The crowd gasped, then laughed, then gasped again as Yak pounced, not with technique, but with the desperate, flailing resolve of someone who had no business winning and absolutely no intention of losing.

It became a brawl. A tangle of limbs, grunts, and awkward leverage. Twice the man nearly broke free. Once Yak bit his own sleeve out of panic. But in the end, he locked in a grip, a messy, undignified thing that looked like it had been learned from a very off-brand instruction manual.

His opponent tapped the ground just before fading out.

The ref called it.

And Yak… just lay there for a moment. Breathing hard. Face still morphing back to neutral. Then he sat up, smiled wide and weird, and gave a little wave to the crowd.

They didn’t know what to do.

Neither did I.

But I found myself clapping.

Because whatever that was, it worked.

And I was starting to suspect that’s Yak’s entire philosophy.


It started with a muttered conversation near the tournament board. A large man—shoulders like barrels, nose like it had met too many fists—leaned in close to Syland Thornstar. No shouting. No threats. Just a quiet word, a heavy pouch exchanged, and a name scratched off the bout list with a stub of charcoal.

The man didn’t fight. Just packed up and left, whistling like someone who’d just sold a goat and gotten away with it.

Then it happened again. And again.

Three more names dropped off before the hour was out. Each one formerly set to face Thornstar or someone Thornstar might face. All of them dangerous-looking. All of them suddenly unavailable.

The officials grumbled, the crowd whispered, but nothing stuck. No proof. Just a pattern. A stink.

I glanced at Thornstar. He was lounging near the combat tent now, sipping something sparkling and expensive, wearing a smile like he’d already won.

I wasn’t the only one watching Thornstar grease the gears of fate.

Din’s jaw had set like a mason’s vice. He didn’t say anything, but the way his arms folded told me he was counting coins, names, and consequences all at once.

Carrie, ever the spotlight seeker, didn’t glare, she smirked. The kind of smirk that said: Oh, darling, if you want to play dirty, at least be interesting about it. She leaned in close to Umberto and whispered something that made him puff up like a rooster in a rainstorm.

Umberto, for his part, cracked his knuckles like they’d insulted his mother. “Chronicle this,” he growled to me without making eye-contact. “If he makes it to the final round, I’ll knock the smug out of his jawline.” He struck a pose. It was unclear whether it was meant for Thornstar or the three nearby sketch artists.

And then, of course, there was Yak.

He said nothing. Didn’t react. Didn’t frown or scoff or plot aloud.

He just disappeared for a moment.

And when he returned, casually munching on a boiled sweet, one of the paid-off fighters was patting his empty coin pouch with growing confusion.

Yak dropped a pile of coins into Day’s hand, offered no explanation, winked and vanished into the crowd again.

Day nodded approvingly, pocketed the coins and then shrugged and wandered off into the crowd. He came back a while later with snacks and drinks for everyone, and then promptly went away again.


Upon being called, Carrie entered the ring like it was a stage, and her opponent looked like he was still waiting for a script. He looked like the sort of man who’d loudly explain sword techniques he read about in a book once. He stepped into the ring with a puffed chest and a patronizing smile, clearly planning to win, or lose, gallantly.

Then Carrie hit him.

Hard.

The crack echoed across the tournament grounds like a dropped stage plank. He staggered. The crowd gasped. And suddenly the gallantry melted off his face like butter in the sun.

He came at her then, not with rage, but with the bruised pride of a man who’d just been outclassed in public. Landed a few quick jabs, sharp little reminders that even fools can sting. Carrie winced, but grinned through it, cheeks flushed, eyes glittering.

And then she spun. Literally spun, and knocked him clean onto his arse with a flourish so dramatic it could’ve ended with a bow.

The crowd erupted. Laughter, applause, a few crude suggestions from the back row. Carrie gave a mock curtsey and blew a kiss to no one in particular. A few grumbles were heard, synonymous with the sound of someone who had bet on the wrong fighter having to hand over some coin. 

As he crawled off, red-faced and grumbling, I caught her and Wikis high-fiving on the sideline, as if to say they weren’t here to mess around. 


Just as the tournament began to find its rhythm; grit, fire, a bit of blood, Thornstar vanished.

Not fled. Not sulked.

Vanished. One minute he was there handing out coins near the noticeboard and the next he was nowhere to be seen.

Moments later, he returned wearing the kind of smirk that usually accompanies bad news and an undeserved inheritance. He strode to the officiating table with the confidence of a man who’s never been told “no” without sending a letter about it.

A few hushed words.

A few more from the official in charge.

Then a gathering of judges. Leaning in. Nodding. Frowning in that bureaucratic way that only ever ends in disappointment.

And then the announcement.

“Due to the current vacancy in the mayoral office of Dawnsheart, following the arrest and pending trial of the former Mayor, Lord Roddrick” the officiant called out, “and in accordance with Civic Charter 12b, Section Four—no contest involving property transfer may be legally ratified without mayoral oversight—all proceedings are hereby postponed until such time as a new mayor is lawfully elected.”

The crowd groaned like a kicked beehive.

Thornstar looked positively radiant.

Umberto clenched both fists and began vibrating like a teakettle mid-boil.

Din, arms crossed, muttered, “The tavern that never was,” with the resigned tone of a man watching his dreams dissolve into fine mist.

Then …

A woman stepped forward. Avelyn Goldwillow a clerk from the Office of Records. She whispered something into the officiant’s ear.

Another pause. Then another announcement.

“There is, however,” the officiant said, adjusting his collar, “a clause—Civic Charter 6g, Section Two—which states that in times of civic disarray, the temporary appointment of an acting mayor may be recognized via unanimous public vote, provided it is witnessed and recorded by at least three officials and one member of the city archives. and be participated in by at least a third of the population.”

I sat up a little straighter at that. So did everyone else. Thornstar frowned.

And from somewhere in the crowd—high-pitched, unmistakably theatrical:

“High Reader Tufulla should be acting mayor!”

I didn’t have to look. That was Carrie’s voice, clear as a trumpet solo in a whispering crypt.

Thornstar, to no one’s surprise, immediately nominated himself.

But a ripple passed through the crowd.

Then a voice. Then another. Then a chant.

“Tufulla! Tufulla! TU-FUL-LA!”

Thornstar objected, of course. But one of the remaining contestants stepped forward and addressed the crowd: “If you want this to finish, if you want to see who wins, this is the way. Let’s end this properly.”

A vote was taken. Quickly. Loudly. Passionately. Unanimously. Someone far better, and faster with numbers than I confirmed the crowd size.

Tufulla was halfway through a rather animated conversation with a child about the theological implications of turnip-shaped gargoyles when the chanting started again.

“Tufulla! Tufulla! TU-FUL-LA!”

He paused mid-sentence. Turned. Blinked.

Bewilderment.

He looked at the crowd, then at the officials, then at me—like I might be holding the answer in my notebook.

I raised an eyebrow.

“They’ve elected you acting mayor,” I said flatly. “By unanimous public vote. It’s legal. Binding. Charter 6g.”

He blinked again. Confusion.

“But… I haven’t prepared a speech,” he whispered, horror dawning.

“You’ll be fine,” I said. “You’ve delivered sermons, same thing really, this is just more paperwork and shouting.”

He looked back at the chanting crowd. His mouth moved silently, perhaps reciting a calming psalm. Or possibly a curse.

When the gathered officials confirmed it with all due ceremony, Tufulla nodded once. Stiffly. Like a man accepting a crown woven from bees.

Thus, without ambition, campaign, or comprehension, the High Reader of Dawnsheart became its accidental mayor.

And so, the tournament continued.


Wikis was eventually called up and the fight began like a normal fight. Which, given this tournament, meant it was weird from the start. She entered the ring bouncing on the balls of her feet, blades flashing and eyes wide like a cat at an aquarium. Her opponent, a cloaked figure with bark-textured skin and a squirrel’s focus, barely looked at her. Instead, they kept glancing at the rooftops, scanning the skyline like they expected it to attack them.

She tried to engage. A flourish here, a cartwheel there, a dramatic “Hyah!” thrown in for flair. The druid parried, absently.

Wikis’ response was something to behold. 

The air bent around her as she twisted, slid, and flipped over her opponent, landing in a crouch behind them with her bow already drawn. The arrow glowed faintly—imbued with something wilder than magic. Wind coiled around her arm like a ribbon.

She didn’t aim.

She felt.

The shot whistled through the air like a whispered secret

Then, feathers.

The druid exploded into the form of a giant eagle and shot skyward with all the grace of a divine missile, beelining toward a large black bird—possibly a raven—perched near a chimney. The two vanished into the clouds mid-chase.

The arrow, undeterred, continued.

It sailed through the fading burst of feathers and, thunk!, pinned a spectator’s sandwich to the side of a nearby wall.

The crowd applauded.

Wikis waited. Sort of.

She dropped into a crouch in the middle of the ring, hunching low like a vampiric street urchin hiding from a sunbeam. With exaggerated subtlety, she pulled her pouch into her lap and started rifling through it.

One by one, she produced small shiny trinkets; a dented brooch, a brass ring, something that might once have been a gold tooth. She whispered to each one, held them up to her ear, and nodded solemnly like they’d whispered back.

She kept glancing at the crowd, then at the rooftops, then behind her, then back to the shiny things. Paranoid. Twitchy. Definitely talking to at least three of the objects.

The crowd, mostly watching the sky, missed the full performance. But a few onlookers near the front row stared in growing fascination.

Five minutes passed.

No eagle. No raven.

The officials huddled, clearly unsure what to do with… any of this.

At last, one of them raised his hand and called out:

“Wikis is declared winner by … confusion!”

She looked up, startled,  quickly stuffed the trinkets back into her pouch and walked off the field as if nothing at all had happened.


We hadn’t seen much of Day. He sort of came and went as the proceedings went on.

Not unusual, really. He tends to slip in and out of places like an afterthought, silent, unreadable, occasionally terrifying in that still lake over deep water sort of way.

But when his name was called, he stepped into the arena with all the fuss of a man attending a dental appointment. No showboating. No grin. Just a slow roll of the shoulders and a glance at his opponent, a man named Oliver Wolfhouse. A jolly publican with arms like ham hocks and a laugh you could hear through a cellar door. He wasn’t here for fame or property. He was here for Erik Thornstar. The original owner of the Goblin’s Grin. A man he called friend.

I think, somewhere deep down, Oliver knew he wasn’t going to win. But he showed up anyway. Because sometimes, remembrance looks like raising a glass. And sometimes, it looks like stepping into a ring.

Day raised his fists. His opponent did the same.

And Thornstar returned, loudly and with all the theatrics of a used cart salesman. 

We should’ve guessed he had more tricks up his heavily embroidered sleeve.

With most of the original contestants out—bought off, bribed, or bodily removed—he sauntered back into the spotlight flanked by his assembled goon gallery. Az led the charge, towering and silent, flanked by faces that looked like they’d been pulled from the “wanted” section of a city watch ledger.

Thornstar motioned to Az, and the orc gave a small nod.

He moved without ceremony, but not without weight. You could see it in his shoulders, the way they dipped slightly, as if carrying more than just muscle. He stepped into the arena, approached Day’s opponent, and, with the efficiency of someone used to being told what to do, picked the man up like a sack of flour and hurled him over the ropes.

The silence that followed wasn’t just shock, it was unease.

Day didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Just turned his head slowly toward Az.

Az met his gaze.

Not with aggression.

With… something else. Something quieter. Tired.

He held it for a beat too long.

Then turned back toward Thornstar, who was already stepping forward like a stage actor eager for his cue.

“Well,” Thornstar said, brushing imaginary dust from his sleeve, “it appears we now have an odd number of contestants. Such a shame.”

“You made it odd!” someone shouted from the stands.

“Yeah – and you keep paying off contestants” someone else added.

Thornstar ignored them, of course and continued nonchalantly.

“I therefore invoke 4b, section 19 of the city by-laws regarding officially sanctioned competitions.”

The crowd began to murmur – the officials looked at each other quizzically. 

Thornstar whispered something to one of his men who gestured toward an alleyway.

And then came Avelyn Goldwillow, poor clerk of the Office of Records, dragged into the arena like a witness to her own trial. She clutched a rolled scroll with the same look a priest gives to a cursed object.

Thornstar gave her a theatrical little nod. She hesitated.

Then, under very obvious duress, read:

“Per Addendum 4b, Section 19… In the event that the final stage of a contested public tournament cannot be resolved through standard format, and a consensus among remaining parties is not achievable, the proceedings may be postponed indefinitely, pending review from an official civic council or tribunal of merchant peers.

I rubbed my eyes and muttered to no one, “How many bloody amendments are there?”

The officials stammered. The crowd started to murmur.

Thornstar raised his hand as if this was all perfectly normal.

“I propose,” he said loudly, smugly, “that the remainder of this tournament be settled not by scattered duels, but as a team engagement.

The crowd collectively sighed. 

Thornstar folded his arms and smiled like a man watching a tavern door close behind a debtor. I watched most of the remaining fighters eye Thornstar and his ‘team’ before shaking their heads and walking off, mumbling about it not being worth it in the end.

The officiants started murmuring about postponement.

Thornstar smiled “Well, if no-one else has a team ready, I guess I win.”

And that’s when Umberto nearly exploded.

It started as a tremble. Then a growl. Yak and Din flanked him like wardens at a boiling cauldron, whispering, gripping shoulders, trying to reason.

It did not work.

Umberto broke free, stomped forward like a charging statue, walked straight past Thornstar—and stopped in front of Day.

Smiled. Nodded.

Then spun and punched Thornstar square in the jaw.

The sound was magnificent. The kind of crack that ends duels and careers. The crowd erupted.

Thornstar crumpled like overpriced parchment. His men—Az included—blinked in stunned silence.

Trunch stepped forward—not toward the fight, but toward the man still gripping Avelyn Goldwillow’s arm.

His voice was calm. Deadly calm.

“Unhand her.”

The man blinked.

“I said,” Trunch repeated, louder now, “unhand her. Is that how you treat a lady in front of a crowd? Like some snatched scroll, dragged into daylight and forced to perform?”

The man looked around for support. Found none. The crowd’s jeering had shifted now—eyes turning, murmurs stirring.

Trunch took one more step. “She is a clerk. A citizen. And if you’re going to play at law and tradition, then start by showing the proper respect. Or I swear, by all that’s sacred and mildly inconvenient, you’ll be the next one on your knees.”

The man let go.

Avelyn staggered back. Trunch caught her arm, not to restrain, but to steady. She didn’t speak. Just gave him a look. One that said thank you without needing words.

Trunch nodded once, smiled, and unleashed a burst of arcane engery that hit the man square in the chest.

“Don’t just stand there, you idiots!” Thornstar wheezed from the floor. “Do what I’ve paid you to do!”

Az didn’t move.

He looked at Thornstar, then at Day and Umberto, both standing firm, unflinching. Then out at the crowd, who were no longer just an audience, they were watching him. And not with fear.

With expectation.

It hit me all at once.

Az didn’t want to be here.

Not like this.

He’d been hired to be muscle, sure. But this? This wasn’t muscle, it was manipulation. Thornstar didn’t command loyalty. He rented obedience.

“Now, you gigantic oaf!” Thornstar screeched, flailing from the dirt and kicking Az squarely in the ankle.

Az flinched, but not from pain. From shame.

He growled. Not at Umberto.

At everything.

Then finally, reluctantly, stepped forward.

But Day moved at the same time. Smooth. Silent. Eyes narrowed.

Their clash began with a blur of fists and elbows. More test than fury, as the rest of the group surged forward.

Din called out to the official’s table – loud, clear, resolute:

“I guess you can put us down as a team.”

And that was it.

The crowd didn’t cheer, they roared. The officials scrambled. Thornstar groaned. Tufulla, halfway through a bite of celebratory tart, looked like he’d just swallowed it the wrong way.

And me?

I finally flipped to a fresh page in my journal.

Because whatever this was becoming…

…it was worth chronicling.

A Grin Worth Bleeding For – I

Chronicles of Klept: Chapter XI


I spent the evening debriefing Tufulla on the events in Nelb. We raised a glass in honor of Edgar and Josep, the readers who fell in the church attack. We discussed the prophecy—how the townsfolk had reacted to the read, and its potential meanings. We talked about the discoveries in Nelb, the Lenn family’s potential involvement with the Dan’del’ion Court.

I’ll reach out to some of the other White Ravens, they might know something” he said as he wrote down the information. 

He seemed unusually interested in the group, their personalities, dynamics.

I’ve seen a little of them in action,” he said, pensively swirling his drink. “At the festival. At the church. It’s like what I imagine watching a fireworks display in a library would be like—brilliant, deafening, and guaranteed to ruin the furniture. You’ve spent time with them, tell me about them,” he leaned back in his chair and sipped his pint slowly. It was almost as if he was trying to confirm a theory.

I saw an opportunity.

Well, if you’re looking to assign credit or blame,” I began, “Umberto’s rage is the easiest to spot. He intimidated a ten-year-old into spilling her secrets by growling about ‘the whispers of blood justice.’ The child gave up everything—her name, her bedtime, the location of three frogs she’d been hiding in a boot.

Tufulla raised an eyebrow. “Effective?.

Terrifying,” I corrected. “He’s like if vengeance grew legs and learned to read.

And the others?

I sighed and took a long sip.

Wikis, she’s the halfling with the wild hair and … minimal dress code. She collects shiny things and trusts nothing. She once accused a chair of betrayal because it squeaked when she sat. But she’s quick-thinking and alarmingly good at survival. Like a magpie with anxiety and a knife hidden in it’s wingpit.”

Something was hastily scribbled into Tufulla’s notebook. 

And the faceless one

Yak? Unnerving. Sometimes forgets to put on a face. Or puts on someone else’s. I watched him imitate a guard so well he almost arrested himself for suspicious behavior.

Tufulla chuckled at that, but I shook my head.

No, I mean it. There’s something off about him. But he… notices things. Things I don’t. There’s insight beneath the weirdness. And an almost unnatural fondness for pastries.”

Interesting, and what about the fairy?

She’s loud. Brash. Impulsive. Prone to singing—or worse, playing those god awful bagpipes—right in the middle of tense negotiations. It’s like she thrives on the sound of escalating tension. But… she’s useful in a pinch. Somehow, despite the noise and the nonsense, she inspires the others exactly when it matters most. She’s chaos, but chaos with timing.

Tufulla flipped a page in his notebook. “The dwarf?

Ah, yes. Din. Calls himself a Sparkwhisker.

That got a raised eyebrow. “Really?

Right? From the supposedly wiped-out clan of old,” I continued. “But here’s the thing— I think he might actually be legit.

Tufulla stared at me as if to say “go on”.

I leaned in slightly, lowering my voice like I was about to confess to seeing a ghost.

His whiskers do the thing. When he channels magic—they float up, spark like electric tendrils. It’s unsettling and kind of impressive. I keep expecting his beard to catch fire. It’s like he’s pulling energy from somewhere older than he is.

Tufulla blinked once, then slowly reached for his journal. “Fascinating…I knew there were a few survivors of the massacre but,” he shook his head and scribbled hastily, “he had to have been very young.

Din is… the closest thing that group of individuals has to a moral compass. Which is impressive, considering he’s usually elbow-deep in someone else’s consequences. He seems to be the group’s conscience.

Tufulla nodded.

Don’t get me wrong,” I added. “He’s stubborn, loud, occasionally sanctimonious. But if I had to bet on which one’s walking out alive …

Tufulla frowned at his own notes “He may very well have done so, long ago”.

Sorry?

Tufulla muttered while writing some notes “He may have already walked out a situation alive that, by all means, he really shouldn’t have been able to,” he looked up and smiled. “You’re starting to understand them.

I’m starting to build a case for long-term exile,” I muttered.

But truthfully, it felt good to be away from them—even if just for an hour. No sudden explosions, no shrieking spell effects, no arguments about who gets to loot the decorative spoon. Just quiet, ale, and the warm, familiar hum of a tavern.

What about the elf?” Tufulla asked.

Day…” I paused. “He’s the one I keep forgetting about—right up until something explodes and he’s the one standing with his sleeves rolled up.

Tufulla looked intrigued.

He doesn’t talk much. But he moves like someone who’s already worked out three ways to win and two ways to vanish. I’ve seen him cut down an enemy mid-sentence, then cast a spell with the same hand before the body hit the ground.

Tufulla raised an eyebrow.

I think he might be the most dangerous of the lot. Not in the loud, explosive way, but in the ‘break the world quietly’ way. He doesn’t waste movement. Or effort. Which means that when he does act you better brace yourself ,because the chamber pot’s already in mid-air.

Tufulla made a note in the corner of the page, his face unreadable.

I added, more to myself than to him, “I’m just not sure if he knows what he’s capable of yet. Or worse, if he does.

Tufulla huffed “The unholy one – the gnome with the topknot?

I blinked. “You mean, Trunch?” then realisation hit “Ah. Right. Yes. The pact thing.

He gave a quiet ‘hmm,‘ it was the same sigh he gave whenever I spilled wine on my church robes.

I often forget that Tufulla, accepting though he is, is still, at his core, a man of faith. The idea of making a bargain with a cosmic horror just to skip a few years of magical study makes his skin crawl. Trunch’s very existence is, to him, mildly offensive on a metaphysical level.

If Din is the conscience then Trunch seems like the rational one,” I went on. “Always pushing for diplomacy. Tries to calm the situation down. At first I thought it was just his nature—cool-headed, even-tempered. But I’ve been watching him. And I think… it’s more than that. I think he genuinely doesn’t want people getting hurt. Not just his allies. Anyone. That’s why he always tries to talk first. He’s not trying to win the fight. He’s trying to prevent it.

Tufulla raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

I also wonder if the calm is something else. Like maybe he doesn’t want to find out what happens if he really lets go. Maybe even he doesn’t know what’s waiting on the other end of that pact. If he does, he’s doing an admirable job of pretending it’s someone else’s problem.

That’s what concerns me,” he muttered, setting his cup down gently. “Still, I think this group’s… unconventional traits may prove to be of further use.

Use for what?” I asked.

Whatever comes next.

He gave me that look—the one that means ‘you won’t like the answer, so I’ll let time deliver it.’

Tufulla closed his journal with a decisive snap. “Well. Thank you Klept. As always, very detailed. Astute observations. I knew I picked the right man for the job. Now I think you should get some rest.

He placed a hand on my shoulder as we rose from our table. A firm, familiar gesture—one he’s used since I was barely tall enough to reach his ink pots. I used to think it meant ‘Well done.’ Now I think it means ‘Don’t wander too far.’ Either way, it still works.

I blinked. “Rest? Now?

Yes. I want to think over what you have uncovered, and to be prepared for tomorrow. We’ll attend the fight in the morning, see how well your new friends do. Could be… enlightening.

I groaned. “So I have to wake up early to watch them punch people?

Tufulla smiled, utterly unfazed. “Think of it as research. Besides, you look like you could do with some rest in your own bed,” he paused “…and perhaps a decent wash.

I grumbled into the bottom of my empty mug. “I prefer my research written, footnoted, and not covered in blood or teeth.

Then wear a taller collar,” he said, standing up. “Just in case.”

I raised an arm and sniffed “Point taken, though, about the wash. And to the point, the dormitory cots aren’t much better than the roadside. Myself, and others have been asking for new mattresses for a while.”

I’ll take your word for it. Just try to come tomorrow in a state that doesn’t evoke a walking onion.” and he walked out. 

I stared at the door for a moment, then sniffed again. I nodded to myself and placed some copper down on the table as I headed to some much needed rest.


It turns out, nothing says community spirit quite like structured violence and mild gambling. In general, most of Dawnsheart are slow to rise however, on this particular morning even as the sun’s first light began to engulf the valley, the town square was a hive of activity. Tables, chairs, barrels and hay bales ringed a makeshift arena in the center of the square. Dozens of people were settling in hoping to get the best vantage points. Vendors were selling breakfast pastries and mugs of Dawnsheart’s famous ‘morning ale’, a concoction of roasted chicory root, nettle leaf, ginger and just enough fermented grain to take the edge off. Dark, slightly smoky, with a lingering burn that clears your head it’s often said to taste like spite and second chances. Drinking it won’t make you happy, but it will make you ready.

As I approached, I spotted Tufulla already seated near what looked to be some kind of officiating table—complete with sign-up sheets, lists, and an overwhelming number of papers. He beckoned me over with the smug enthusiasm of someone who’s already ticked off half a to-do list before dawn and very much wants you to know about it.

I got here early and managed to get us a couple of good seats,” he said, handing me a warm pastry and a steaming tin mug of morning ale.

I caught the sharp whiff of vinegar and salt. “Waker’s Brew? Really, What’s wrong with the standard, or even a Scribe’s Stout? a hint of berries in the morning is a lovely start to the day

Tufulla nodded, utterly unbothered. “The guards say it heightens the senses. You look like you need it. Besides, I quite like it – I find the berries make it too sweet. The vinegar helps remind you you’re alive.

I accepted both brew and pastry with the air of someone deeply unprepared for the concept of morning violence.

The officials (I use that term very loosely) began to arrive not long after. Government clerks, Citywatch representatives, and a few self-important members of the Dawnsheart Council took their seats behind the officiating table, adjusting their cloaks and clearing their throats as if preparing for a royal decree rather than a sanctioned brawl.

Over the next hour or so, announcements were made, names were checked off,  and rules were discussed and then read aloud by a young clerk with a voice like wet parchment. Point was made to remind everyone that these were not fights to the death, but to knockout or submission. Disciples of Theraphis were pointed out to be on hand to deal with serious injuries, several magic users were identified around the crowd prepared to ‘shield’ bystanders if necessary. 

Contestants checked in one by one—some nervously, others with theatrical bravado. Eventually, our group appeared through the crowd.

Trunch and Din approached first. Trunch shook my hand with a calm nod and clasped Tufulla’s with a small, respectful bow. Din offered a firm grip and a half-smile—the kind that says, I trust you not to laugh if this goes horribly wrong.

Day walked past with a dry “Hey,” while Yak, wiping flaky crumbs from another borrowed face, muttered a casual “Sup?” before vanishing into the crowd again.

Carrie and Wikis trailed behind, both mumbling something that might have been “morning,” though it was hard to tell through the slurred vowels and visible regret. I caught a faint scent of last night’s wine clinging to Carrie’s sleeves. Wikis had somehow managed to drape a cloak over her head like she was hiding from the sun, the law, or both.

Umberto, clad as usual in nothing but a loincloth and small cape, was off to the side doing push ups directly in front of a fruit vendor. He grunted in my general direction—loudly, pointedly, and without breaking eye contact. It was both a greeting and a challenge, and I chose to ignore both.

The fancily dressed individual from yesterday’s sign ups, Symond Thornstar,  soon arrived, flanked by the enormous orc whose presence alone cleared a path. He made one last attempt—oily, insistent, and laced with pointed references to influential acquaintances, to convince the officials that the property was rightfully his. When that failed, he sighed, adjusted the cuffs of his embroidered sleeves, and with all the dignity of a man checking into an inn he used to own, reluctantly marked himself as present on the contestant list.

And then, Barbara Dongswallower arrived. Radiant. Dazzling. Dramatically overdressed for an hour most people reserve for regret and dry toast. She greeted fans with gloved hands and practiced smiles, waved to admirers like a queen who tolerated affection as a necessary part of fame, and glided toward a small table someone had clearly not reserved for her, but which now undeniably belonged to her by virtue of sheer presence.

Umberto froze mid-pushup. One arm still locked in place, body trembling with suppressed chaos. He turned his head slowly, as if fearing a sudden movement might wake him from a beautiful dream.

She’s here?” he whispered. “She’s actually watching?

He rose in a single, fluid motion—graceful in a way that felt borrowed from someone else’s story. For once, he didn’t grunt, growl, or flex at the nearest authority figure. Instead, he adjusted his loincloth. Smoothed his mohawk with both hands. Tried to look taller.

Then he caught me watching.

What?” he barked, his voice cracking slightly. “Stretching’s important. Chronicle that!

Then, after quickly glancing to see if Barbara was watching he stormed over to the official’s table, chest puffed out, yet something was different this time. His usual thunderous stride was replaced by something… lighter. Almost … bouncy? Yes. The man was bounding. Elation clung to him like dew on a daisy. The rage was still there, of course, but now it twinkled—twinkled—like a greataxe dipped in glitter. 

Enough dawdling!” He demanded,  thumping his fist onto the table. The officials flinched. One dropped a quill. Barbara remained seated, unbothered, elegantly disinterested. “Let’s get this started. I’ll go first – it’ll be quick” he continued.

Once things got underway, it was exactly the kind of affair you’d expect from a public and official sanctioned street brawl.

Of Prophecies and Property Rights

Chronicles of Klept: Chapter X


Day woke us all at first light. There’s something quietly unnerving about Elves. It’s not the pointy ears or the grace, but the way they don’t sleep. Just sit there. Still. Watching. What’s even more unnerving is that I haven’t seen Day make any adjustments to his hair at all and yet it’s still immaculate.

Everyone began to rise – Umberto lay coo-ing and clutching his Dongswallower signed parchment. In this moment, soft and childlike, he was the exact antithesis of the raging destructive force he usually displayed. 

Carrie fluttered above him and muttered ‘he’s so sweet when he sleeps

Trust me, it doesn’t last long,” Din replied. He stoked the embers of last night’s fire and set about cooking a simple breakfast. 

The morning discussion quickly turned to yesterday’s events and the recent discoveries.

Three medallions,” Trunch looked at Wikis who reluctantly removed them from wherever they were being kept in her coat, “and a brick that seems to resurrect the dead” – that was produced wrapped and kept off the ground (just in case).

That’s just what came from the graveyard,” Day added, looking to Yak who, in between mouthfuls of breakfast, produced the small metallic box he had found in the Lenn house. 

There’s two brooches in here, not medallions but the same symbol. The wilted Dandelion flower in a bed of thorns.” Yak spoke with a mouthful of crumbs.

Don’t forget the list” Carrie cried out “There was some kind of list in the box as well.

Inside the box was also a folded piece of parchment paper. It seemed to be a list of some kind but it was written in a language that none of the group could translate. 

It might be a list of people we should try and find or ‘talk to’” Umberto grunted lifting his axe above his head as if it were a dumbbell and he was doing morning reps. 

It could be an old family recipe for cabbage soup for all we know,” Din added forlornly. No one had spoken about his trance – there seemed to be a general agreement that he would talk about it when he was ready, but something was different about him. He had sat, not moving, not making a sound,  in front of that Sparkwhisker gravestone for over an hour.

We should return to Dawnsheart,” I said, with the tone of a man who very much hoped someone responsible would take over soon. I, Klept, had no intention of loitering about like a spare coin at a beggar’s feast. I wanted to see Tufulla, partly to report our findings, but mostly to be officially and ceremoniously relieved of my continued association with this increasingly unpredictable group. “We should inform him of what we’ve uncovered,” I added, hopefully. “Surely the White Ravens have the appropriate personnel, enchanted implements, and overall constitution to deal with… well, this.

The group didn’t agree, or disagree with me. They nodded – items were packed away and we began the slow walk back to Dawnsheart. 

About 25 minutes into our walk, Day spoke up.
Didn’t we make this trip in a cart yesterday?”

There was a moment of silence. Heads turned.

Wait…” Carrie said, fluttering above the group with a piece of breakfast still in her hand. “We did have a cart. And mules. We just… left them back at the graveyard, didn’t we?

She gave a cheerful shrug. “Well, at least they’ll keep the grass down. Brandt doesn’t seem interested in the job anymore.

Umberto stopped walking. Slowly, deliberately, he turned to look at me.

You were there, Klept. You wrote it down, didn’t you? That’s why you’re here isn’t it?” Umberto barked, thrusting one hand out flat like he was offering a target. Then he stabbed his other finger into his palm with the force of someone nailing down a coffin lid, “to write things down, so they are remembered. You do know how to write, don’t you?

I blinked.

The cart. The almost comfortable, not-walking cart. That should’ve been chronicled.

I was focused more on the rising dead and resurrecting bricks, actually,” I replied.

Well, maybe next time, you could scribble ‘TAKE THE CART’ in big letters somewhere between your divine doodles and graveyard haikus,” Umberto muttered, hoisting his axe onto his shoulder and trudging onward. “Unbelievable. After all the undead nonsense and the lack of answers, we’re walking back to town? On foot?

We did also get a box of possibly cursed accessories and a brick that raises the dead.” Din spoke for the first time in a while. 

Oh good. A brick.” Umberto sighed and trudged on, muttering to himself. “I told the old man bringing a chronicler was just asking for disappointment.

I opened my mouth but Trunch just shook his head at me, pleading with me not to say anything.  

That’s when Yak appeared beside me. I hadn’t seen him approach — which is typical, if mildly disconcerting.

Don’t worry too much,” he said quietly, eyes on the path ahead. “He’s always cranky.

He reached into one of the many folds of his robe and, with a magician’s sleight of hand, produced half a sizzlecake — slightly squashed.

For you,” he said, placing it in my hand like a sacred relic.

I stared at it.

Was this…?

Let’s not ask too many questions,” Yak replied, patting me on the shoulder before walking away.

I took a bite.

It was, against all odds, still surprisingly pleasant.

Umberto didn’t speak to me for the next ten minutes. I considered it a gift.


We arrived back in Dawnsheart through the northwest gate around mid-morning.

The town was alive—carts rattling, vendors shouting, boots on stone—but there was a thin layer of unease beneath the bustle, like tension tucked just under the cobblestones. The energy was there, yes—but the cheer had gone missing.

A pair of guards stood at the gate, and one of them, broad-shouldered, breakfast crumbs still on his collar, stepped forward with a hand raised. His eyes narrowed as he took us in.

Wikis, ever subtle, was scanning rooftops like she expected an ambush. Umberto was visibly clenching his fists and radiating barely-contained fury. Din looked tired. Trunch looked like a man mentally budgeting for incoming chaos.

Yak, who had somehow materialized from nowhere, was the first the guard seemed to recognize. A flicker of memory crossed his face.

Then he saw me.

Klept?” he asked, straightening a little. “Reader Klept?

I nodded, perhaps a little more formally than necessary. “In the flesh. Though slightly more bruised than yesterday.

Recognition settled across the guard’s face like dust returning to a shelf. I remembered him now, he’d been stationed in the square yesterday, during the  golem attack in the cathedral. 

He lowered his hand. “Apologies. You lot just… you don’t exactly blend.

I suppose that’s true,” I said, glancing at my travelling companions. “This lot seem to specialize in public disruption and questionable timing.

That earned a tired, wry smile from the guard. Umberto glared at me. Carrie hmpfed.

Then the guard gave a small nod toward the cathedral.

The High Reader gave the prophecy read last evenin’. Didn’t sit well with many folk. Not that the message was bad, just… heavy. Said sometimes prophecy don’t mean what it seems. It’s not about what it says, but how we face it.

He looked out over the streets, where the morning light painted everything in gold and shadow.

Folk are still talking about it. Quiet, like. But it’s sticking. Moods likely to be down for a while

I guess the taverns will do a bit more business then” Day spoke carefully, as if assessing whether a joke would be appropriate or not. 

I ‘spect they will, which likely means a bit more work for us. Just make sure you lot aren’t caught up in it” he cast a wary gaze over the group, lingering on Umberto and Wikis just long enough to imply he knew their type.

We promise to be on our best behavior” Din raised a hand in what may or mat not have been mock respect.

The guard nodded curtly, stepped aside, and waved us through with one hand.

As soon as she was past, Carrie turned and stuck her tongue out at him, careful to make sure he didn’t notice. 

As we passed through the gates, the town unfurled before us — familiar, but quieter. Dawnsheart always had its share of weariness, but now it wore it openly, like a shawl draped too tightly against a coming storm.

The guard’s words lingered. The message isn’t always what it seems.

I remembered the Read. The light on the glyphs. The pattern that emerged.
The mention of the arrival of outsiders.

At the time, I assumed it meant foreign diplomats. A traveling scholar. Perhaps a metaphor.

I did not assume it referred to a gnome who screams at skeletons, a changeling with a pastry pouch, or a halfling who treats valuable relics like spare buttons.

And yet, here they are. Loud. Chaotic.
And just possibly, the beginning of something.

They fought. They bled. They risked their lives for people they didn’t know, against enemies they didn’t understand.

But they also bickered, interrogated a child, and nearly set a graveyard on fire.

Outsiders, certainly. Whether they’re the right ones… that remains to be seen.

I tightened my grip on my journal. The path was lit, yes — but by torchlight or wildfire, I couldn’t yet tell.

As we rounded the bend toward Dawnsheart’s town square, the road widened and the cobbles began to warm up beneath our feet as the sun beamed down. A gentle breeze stirred the smoke rising from hearth chimneys, curling it into lazy spirals above the rooftops.

That’s when we saw them—half a dozen children darting through the street ahead, shrieking with laughter. One had a stick shaped like a wooden sword, another wore a too-big helmet that slipped over his eyes with every step. They raced past us in a flurry of giggles and scuffed boots.

But one boy slowed as he passed. He was barefoot, wild-haired, and gripping a battered broomstick between his legs. He wasn’t galloping like a knight or cackling like a pretend witch. No, he crouched low, face serious with determination, steering his “steed” through invisible waves.

Across the cobblestones, he shouted, “Hold steady, bean! Don’t you dare sink now!”

And then he kicked off again, paddle-miming wildly, skimming around the corner like it were a sacred lake.

Wikis stopped mid-sentence. Din tilted his head.

Trunch kept walking, oblivious, until Yak appeared beside him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Trunch,” he said quietly, nodding toward the scene.

Just then, a girl with a crooked braid and scraped knees glanced up and saw us. Her eyes lingered. First on Din, then on Wikis, then finally on Trunch. A look passed over her face: the kind that knows a story when it sees one.

She didn’t say a word.

But Trunch saw it too. He stepped forward, raised a finger to his lips in a gentle shush, and gave her a single, conspiratorial wink.

The girl giggled, turned on her heel, and bolted after her friends, grinning so wide it might’ve wrapped around her head.

Yak and Umberto stood beside Trunch, one hand each on his shoulders.

“This is how it starts,” Umberto murmured, half-whispering. “A bean. A wink. A game. And soon, your actions become the stuff of legend.”

Yak nodded solemnly. “Next thing you know, they’re naming pies after you.”

Trunch said nothing. But he cleared his throat quietly, and for a moment, the ever-so-slightest tilt of his head made him look taller. Like maybe, just maybe, he was standing a little prouder.

We walked on, the story we carried leaving beginning to take root among the cobbled streets. Until, several steps later, Carrie fluttered around to face Trunch.

Her eyes lit up.

“Oh my gosh,” she gasped, jabbing her finger at him like she’d uncovered a scandal. “You were the guy. On the bean. At the festival.”


We made our way toward the cathedral, because that’s what you do when you have unanswered questions and your backpack is full of cursed heirlooms. You go to the man who wears a fancy robe on purpose.

At least, that was the intention.

What I’ve noticed with this group is that they operate less on a collective focus and more on something that resembles the curiosity of a pack of particularly inquisitive raccoons. All it takes is a flash of light, a wafting odor, or a loud noise and they are drawn to it like drunkards to unattended baked goods. 

We made it as far as the town square.

A commotion had gathered near the community notice board, shouting, scuffling, and the unmistakable tone of someone being publicly humiliated.

“It should be mine by right!” a man’s voice rang out.

“Make him fight for it!” another yelled.

“Sign up for the fight, you pompous prick!” a woman cheered.

The group looked at each other.

Sign up for the fight?” Wikis mouth at them quizzically.

That was all it took.

Umberto surged toward the chaos with the enthusiasm of a man who’d just heard the words “public violence” and “legal loophole” in the same sentence. Wikis followed close behind, eyes already scanning the crowd for opportunity, exits, and pocketable valuables. Din trailed them with the reluctant gait of someone who had seen how these things usually ended—and knew they were going to end that way again.

What’s going on?” Umberto barked, elbowing his way through the throng.

A short, red-faced woman with an apron half-off her shoulder turned to him. “People get to sign up for a fight, winner gets—

She didn’t finish.

By the time she’d managed her second breath, Umberto had already grabbed the charcoal stub from a dangling string and scrawled his name across the sign-up sheet pinned to the board. The handwriting was furious, the letters all uppercase and slightly aggressive, like the parchment had offended him and he was teaching it a lesson.

The rest of the group, swept along in the Umberto-shaped wake, began inspecting the notice as well. Several names already adorned the list, some in elegant, calligraphic flourishes, others with the jagged scrawl of someone trying to spell while mid-punch. None of them, however, had quite the sheer volume of personality as the newly added UMBERTO.

The fight, it seemed, would be held the next morning. Sign-ups closed that afternoon.

A fight’s a fight,” Umberto said with a shrug. “And this one’s legal. That’s practically recreational.

One by one, the others began adding their names to the list.

I suppose maybe we should find out what we’re fighting for?” Trunch offered dryly, his quill hovering just above the parchment.

I don’t need a reason,” Umberto said, rolling his shoulders. “Just a fight. Bit of physical therapy, if you know what I mean.

Din leaned in, squinting at the fine print. “Weaponry permitted if both combatants agree… magic allowed but single-target only—‘no fireballs or area of effect’… reasonable.

Carrie fluttered in front of the board, tracing the list of names with a finger. “Wait, if the matches are random, does that mean we might end up fighting each other?

Oh,” she said brightly, looking at Trunch. “Can I fight you?

I’d rather not,” Trunch replied, calm but already bracing for a future where that was somehow inevitable.

Wikis was still staring at the sign-up sheet like it was hiding something. “Do we know if the prize is cursed?” she asked. “It feels cursed. I just think someone should ask.

Yak, from behind her, silently signed his name upside-down and backwards with a flourish. “If it’s cursed, all the better,” he said.

Trunch finally signed with a sigh, then turned to look at each of us in turn. Not dramatically, not accusingly—just… sizing us up.

His gaze was slow. Measuring. Like a man mentally sorting tools into those that would last in a storm, and those that might snap.

And just beside him, Day stood motionless, arms folded, watching the group with that same unreadable calm he always wore—only this time, his eyes weren’t distant. They were studying.

He didn’t speak. He didn’t need to.

You could feel it. He was running calculations behind those eyes. Not just strategy—but probabilities. Weaknesses. Openings.

That’s when it hit me.

A sudden, quiet understanding clicked into place, like a blade slipping into its sheath. Clean. Unsettling.

At the core of it, this group—this party, this gloriously disjointed collection of chaos—was still made up of strangers. They had fought side by side, yes. Shared meals, near-deaths, occasional goats. But under all that, there were still vast unknowns between them.

Fighting alongside someone is one thing. Knowing what they’ll do when you’re in their way… that’s something else entirely.

Trunch was already thinking about it.

Day already knew.

Because this tournament wasn’t about strangers anymore.

It was about what happens when allies become opponents.

And there was a very real possibility that someone in this group might actually win.

I swallowed.

Now, more than ever, I wanted to ensure that my connection to them—this assignment as chronicler—would end. And soon. Before I got pulled even deeper into something I was already beginning to regret more thoroughly than most of my theological education.

That’s when the crowd parted—literally.

A massive orc muscled his way through the square with the slow, unstoppable confidence of a glacier wearing boots. He didn’t shout. He didn’t growl. He didn’t need to.

People moved.

He stepped up to the sign-up sheet like it owed him money.

Someone had just finished signing up. They turned, looked up and stood frozen with the stub still in hand. The orc loomed silently at his side, a living monument to muscle and menace. The poor fellow looked up, wide-eyed, then slowly—trembling—extended the charcoal like an offering. The orc didn’t look at anyone. Didn’t ask if it was his turn. Just grabbed the charcoal and started writing—if you could call it that.

Two letters. Big ones.

AZ

They swallowed three names whole and took a solid bite out of a fourth. The strokes were thick, messy, and somehow aggressively earnest. The kind of letters you’d expect from a toddler discovering uppercase for the first time—and winning. The letters were thick and clumsy, but the way he formed them? That took effort. Focus. Pride.

And it wasn’t just the writing. I clocked the way he held that charcoal. Like it meant something. Like it was more than a tool.

Then, just as silently, he turned and walked away. No words. No threat. Just the echo of his footsteps and the lingering scent of muscle oil and oh no.

The pompous man from earlier—the one shouting about inheritance rights and tradition—simply nodded as the orc passed. The nod of a man who had just outsourced his fistfight.

The silence that followed was thick enough to chew. One or two names on the list were quickly and quietly crossed off by their respective owners—no fuss, no comment, just a sudden and profound change of heart.

Carrie cleared her throat and turned to Wikis.

Okay,” she said. “We really need to find out what we’re fighting for. Especially if it means fighting him. Or…” she glanced sideways at Day and Trunch, who were still eyeing each other with quiet calculation, “each other.

Wikis slowly nodded, still staring after the orc.

It’s a property dispute,” one woman explained leaning in, arms crossed, eyes fixed on the growing list of contenders. “Fights are drawn at random from those who sign up. Winner moves on to the next round. Last fighter standing at the end of the day wins the deed.

The fancy-looking fellow over there”, she gestured with her chin toward a well-dressed gentleman who was gesturing animatedly to what looked like a city official, “he thinks it ought to be his. Says his father owned it.

But!” piped up an older man in an enormous hat, stepping in like he was sharing state secrets, “his father’s will says the property has to be won. That’s how he got it, years back. Won it in a card game.”

Trunch and Day had stopped sizing the group up and had begun to listen. Umberto stood, arms crossed watching the orc lumber across the square.

I heard it was a chicken race,” someone added.

Pie-eating contest,” another insisted. “Four rounds. Crust was the tiebreaker.”

Oh, what kind of pie?” Yak was suddenly more interested in the conversation than the crowd’s coat pockets.

Don’t matter what kind. Neither pie nor competition,” said the woman again. “It’s the tradition that matters. Has to be won—fair and public. Apparently, Thornstar, the previous owner,  loved a good fistfight. Said it revealed true character. Traditions are important ‘round these parts.” She gave the group a steely once-over as if to say ‘I know you lot ain’t from ‘round ‘ere’. She lingered on Trunch just long enough to mean his face was filed in a box somewhere in her mind, but not long enough for her to pull out a pile of boxes and sort through them. Somehow she seemed to come to the conclusion they weren’t problematic.

Carrie leaned in, eyes gleaming like she’d just heard the prelude to a juicy scandal. “So… what kind of property are we talking about?

Is it a warehouse?” Trunch asked, straight-faced. “That would be a good place for unsanctioned fistfights.

The old man’s house?” Wikis asked suspiciously, already scowling like it might be haunted and full of breakable valuables.

No, no—nothing like that,” the old gentleman said, practically twinkling now. “It’s a wee tavern.

There was a beat.

Then Umberto and Din turned to each other, eyes wide.

It was the kind of look usually reserved for children who’d discovered the candy stall at the festival had no supervision and an honesty box system.

Did he say tavern?” Umberto whispered, breathless.

Din nodded, solemn as a priest. “He did.

And then it happened.

They grinned. Wide, unfiltered, dangerously joyous grins. The kind of grins that suggested two men already fantasizing about custom tankards, a beef jerky wall, and permanent discounts for anyone who could out head-butt a ram.

Oh,” Umberto said, cracking his knuckles, “I’m winning this.

I’m gonna sleep under the bar,” Yak added. “On purpose.

That’s when a nearby bystander leaned in—a sharp-eyed woman with a fraying bonnet and a voice like cracked gravel.

To be fair,” she muttered, “The Goblin’s Grin’s a run-down shit hole. Roof leaks. Floor sinks. Pretty sure the back room is full of mushrooms that bite.

The Goblin’s Grin” Din let the words linger on his tongue like a particularly sweet candy.

Half the folks signed up just to knock the place down,” added a lanky man with one eyebrow and a sack of turnips. “It’s a dark, poky little hole. Smells like damp socks and something best left unfound.

Umberto turned slowly to face him.

It sounds perfect,” he said, eyes gleaming.

Carrie gave a satisfied exhale. “Sounds like it’s got character.

Is it stocked?” Day had a sparkle in his eyes I hadn’t seen before.

At that point that I, the one with the functioning long-term memory, made the executive decision to leave the group discussing property details and battle plans and make my way to Tufulla, to debrief him  on our Nelb discoveries as was the original plan this morning. 

I slipped away toward the cathedral, journal under one arm and the beginnings of a stress headache forming behind my left eye. The mayor’s office, I noticed, was shuttered with a hand-scrawled sign in the window: TEMPORARILY CLOSED. ARREST PENDING. A rather elegant euphemism for Roddrick finally got caught doing something too obvious to weasel out of.

As the bells of the cathedral chimed the quarter-hour, I adjusted my robes, steadied my breath, and prepared to find High Reader Tufulla. I had information to deliver, a prophecy to report on, and, if the gods were truly kind, an opportunity to be officially and ceremoniously released from my ongoing involvement with the chaotic group causing a ruckus around the town board.

The doors to the cathedral were open, technically so was the window next to them. The glass shards had been swept up and there was some scaffolding erected but it was just still an empty space where a beautiful stained glass window had once been. A few townsfolk sat scattered across the pews, heads bowed, not praying so much as lingering near holiness in the hope it would rub off.

Tufulla was near the pulpit, speaking in low tones with an individual I didn’t recognize. When he saw me, the High Reader raised one hand. Not in blessing. In pause.

He finished his conversation, nodded gravely, and dismissed the mystery individual. Then he turned toward me, his expression tired, but, much to my surprise, relieved.

You returned,” he said. “And the rest of our interesting little group are?” he looked past me as if to expect them to come crashing through the door on the back of an angry dragon.

Signing up for some kind of street brawl” I replied “Is that sort of thing actually legal?

Probably,” Tufulla replied, unfazed. “Who knows what kind of things Roddrick signed into law? The man had no clue what he was doing. But, I assume there’s a pile of paperwork involved and things to sign, and, if they are consenting individuals then…” he waved his hand as if to clear this thought from his space “what did you find? In Nelb. I see you came back in one piece.

I gave a slight shrug. “We found… things. Enough to suggest your theory about the Dan’del’ion Court isn’t incorrect.

Tufulla’s gaze sharpened, but he simply nodded. “Come. Walk with me.

He turned, and I followed him down the central aisle. The cathedral’s stained-glass windows threw fractured light across the stone floor—sunbeams filtered through saints, symbols, and stories long forgotten by most.

Outside, the world carried on. Inside, it felt like time held its breath.

You’re certain?” Tufulla asked softly.

As certain as one can be when traveling with a group like this,” I replied. “The dead were rising in the Graveyard.

That was mentioned in the report from Brandt. Was he much help?

They knocked him out. Well, Umberto did. He was drunk.”

Tufulla looked confused.

Brandt. Brandt was drunk. He seemed to have given up. Wasn’t helpful. The group decided to get information in their own … special way.”

We left the calm of the cathedral behind, just in time to hear shouting from across the square.

Din was using all his strength to hold Umberto back. 

Umberto was yelling at a young gentleman with the fury of a held back hurricane. “Barbara Dongswallower is the greatest literary artist in history

Oh, please – it’s obvious she uses a ghost-writer. Her prose is awful.

Day and Trunch had joined Din in holding Umberto back and yet Umberto was still slowly moving toward the young man. Wikis had drawn her bow and was using it to keep the crowd at bay. Carrie pressed a finger into the man’s chest.

If you’re really that smart,” she said with a bite “you’d recognize now as a good time to walk away.

Yak sat cross legged on a nearby table, watching it all unfold with pastry in hand. I thought I could see a smile in the dark recesses of his hood even from across the square.

The group, it seemed, were thriving.

Tufulla exhaled slowly.

You know,” he said, “I’m impressed you made it back completely unscathed.”

I straightened my robes with mock pride. “Oh, I wouldn’t say completely unscathed. But most of the damage is emotional.

Tufulla paused, hand resting lightly on my shoulder.

I see. It sounds like we have some things to discuss. How about a pint?

Oh, Gods. Please.

The Subtle Art of Extracting Information

Chronicles of Klept: Chapter IX


Brandt’s door rattled when Trunch knocked. Then again when Umberto pounded on it with his fist.

From inside: silence.

Then, eventually, the shuffling of reluctant feet. A click. A creak.

The door cracked open, and Brandt Ulfornd peered out like a man deeply disappointed that he was still alive. He smelled like the unmistakable scent of disappointment soaked in alcohol. His robe was inside out. His eyes were bloodshot. His general aura was that of a man who’d found rock bottom, bought property there, and was currently renting out the basement.

“...You again,” he mumbled, blinking slowly. “Didn’t I already give you a key or… a goat… or something?

The key. Yes,” Trunch said gently. “About twenty minutes ago.

Right. Good key. Worked fine?

Perfectly,” Umberto said, stepping forward. “Now we have follow-up questions. About the Lenn family

Brandt blinked again, swaying slightly. 

The Lenns?” he repeated, squinting at us like we were a particularly unwelcome hangover. “They were… fine. Good folk. Kept to themselves. Generous. Rich, of course.

He leaned against the doorframe, bottle still in hand, and waved vaguely toward the hill.

Built that big house up there. Put up the mausoleum down here. Paid for the flower beds before the weeds won. Didn’t cause trouble. Didn’t attract trouble.” 

He took another swig, winced like the drink had punched him back. “Look, if this is about the dead in the graveyard—they’re handled now, right? You sorted that. Lovely work, truly. Very brave. You have my thanks”. He gestured weakly toward the cemetery behind us, as if sealing it shut with a flick of his fingers. “So if it’s all the same to you…kindly bugger off and leave me be

He started to close the door, but Umberto stuck a foot in the frame.

Look, old man,” he said, trying very hard to be patient and failing miserably, “we’ve got skeletons literally clawing their way out of the ground and your name on the caretaker’s ledger. So unless you want to join them—

You don’t scare me,” Brandt snapped. “You think you’re the first thug come knockin’? I kept this place in order long before any of you were—hic—playing dress-up with swords!

He shoved the door. Umberto shoved back.

There was a brief scuffle, which ended with Brandt sprawled unconscious on the porch, snoring like someone trying to breathe through gravel.

Problem solved,” Umberto said, dusting his hands. “Let’s search the house.

You can’t just knock people unconscious because they’re uncooperative!” I protested.

He started it! Would you have preferred I set him on fire?

I would have preferred a conversation!

That was a conversation,” he said.

Wikis, naturally, had already let themselves in.

The house was a disaster. Papers everywhere, dishes stacked in odd places, furniture that hadn’t been moved in years. But amidst the chaos, a strange kind of order: shelves stacked with carefully labeled books, maps, records, family trees—drawn and redrawn in painstaking detail.

The fairy flitted across the ceiling beams, peeking into boxes and scroll tubes, occasionally dusting things with the hem of their coat.

Messy house,” she said, “but mostly meticulous records. Something changed recently though.”

Something broke,” Wikis said, flipping through a massive leather-bound volume. “This man catalogued births, deaths, and dental appointments going back decades. And then… nothing. About eighteen months ago. Everything stops.”

They laid the book flat.

L-E-N-N,” Wikis read. “Markus and Lilly. Arrived from out of town years ago. No listed origin. Very wealthy. Buried in the mausoleum.

And their daughter?” I asked, already peeking out the dusty window.

Still alive. Brenne Lenn,” the fairy said. 

Lives alone in the family homestead” She and I spoke at the said time. Her reading from the ledger, me pulling from memory.

There was a pause.

How do you know that?” Day asked suddenly, his voice cool but not unkind.

I turned, surprised—and was immediately reminded that Yak exists in a constant state of surprise appearances.

He emerged from behind a stack of crates like a theatrical specter and pressed a dagger gently—yet meaningfully—against my throat.

What else do you know that you’re not telling us, Chronicler?

I’m a Church historian,” I said, carefully. “Tufulla didn’t bring me along for my swordplay. He sent me because I know the valley.

Yak’s eyes narrowed. The dagger didn’t waver.

The Lenns were prominent,” I continued. “Not just in Nelb. In Dawnsheart too. Wealthy, generous. Contributed to civic works, charity funds, temple restorations. Always smelled faintly of lavender. Their family name is carved on a bench in the cathedral’s west wing, next to the donation box that leaks.

The dagger lowered.

You could’ve told us this earlier,” Umberto said, leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. “Y’know—before we got here. Before the graveyard. Before Brandt went night-night.”

I blinked at him.

You didn’t ask. You all just… ran off with weapons drawn and a vague plan involving improvised violence.

That does sound like us,” Day mused.

Carrie floated past with a ledger under one arm. “So… where’s this mysterious house, then?

I pointed out the window. Through the mist, the Lenn estate sat atop a modest hill—looming just enough to be foreboding, picturesque enough to be tragic.

There,” I said. “Two stories, slightly crooked roof, probably haunted. You can’t miss it.

Trunch leaned under my shoulder and nodded.

Think we should talk to her?

Yes,” I said. “But maybe not with the same tact you used on Brandt.”

I nodded toward the porch, where our gravekeeper lay in a heap—snoring, twitching, and absolutely unhelpful.

Let’s try knocking with words this time.

We left Brandt snoring on the porch, surrounded by broken bottles, scattered papers, and the lingering aroma of disappointment.

Let him sleep it off,” Umberto said, waving a hand like he’d just performed a mercy. “He’ll be fine. Or not. Either way, quieter.

I didn’t argue. At this point, I was saving my energy for more important things. Like regret.

The hill that led to the Lenn house was soft underfoot—overgrown grass, patches of wild onion, the occasional cabbage stalk creeping too close to the path. The house loomed above us like it had grown out of the hill rather than been built into it. Two stories, weathered shutters, and an uneasy stillness that made the air feel thicker the closer we got.

I took the lead. Not because I wanted to, but because if I left it to the others, we’d arrive by battering ram.

Behind me, Umberto was stomping up the path like the very concept of hills had personally insulted him.

He was… louder than usual. Angrier, if that was even possible. His jaw was tight, his eyes sharper than they needed to be, and he kept muttering about “rich people’s secrets” and “shady hilltop bastards” under his breath. If Din had been here, he might’ve offered a calming word. A logical argument. A steady hand.

Instead,the hand on Umberto’s shoulder belonged to Carrie.

Imagine, if you will, a fairy bard at the height of her powers—if those powers included an unshakable need for attention, the color palette of a gemstone heist, and an instrument that sounds like it’s been possessed by a musically gifted banshee with stage presence.

Carrie is barely three feet tall, though she somehow radiates tall. Her wings shimmer like stained glass windows mid-mutiny—flashes of violet, teal, and emerald that could either dazzle a crowd or distract a charging owlbear, depending on the lighting. Her hair is a riotous shade of sunset orange, styled in a way that suggests either careful intention or magical accidents she pretends were on purpose. She pins the more rebellious strands back with glittering clips shaped like musical notes. Of course she does.

Her clothing is what happens when someone says “travel light” and she hears “travel fabulously.” A velvety purple bodice embroidered in golden swirls wraps around her like a melody about to burst into song. From the waist down, she’s draped in a cascade of jewel-toned silks—sapphire, ruby, emerald, amethyst—like a patchwork tapestry that sings when she walks. The sleeves don’t match, obviously. One is snug with braidwork, the other is pure drama.

Strapped across her chest, like a knight’s sword or a mage’s staff, is a set of bagpipes. And not just any bagpipes—no, these are polished mahogany, inlaid with silver vines, the bag itself a forest-green leather etched with arcane musical symbols that pulse faintly when she plays. It’s all very subtle. If you’re blind.

She also carries a satchel full of sheet music, shiny things she’s ‘collected’ (read: definitely not stolen), and an alarming number of polished stones that she insists are ‘emotionally resonant.’

Her boots, laced with crimson ribbon, are technically for travel, though one suspects she judges every village by the acoustics of its town square. A small pendant shaped like a swirling gust of wind hangs around her neck—enchanted, of course—to ensure her solos arrive with appropriate drama.

And when she plays? It’s impossible to ignore. The sound is somewhere between a battle cry and a love letter, fierce and haunting, like someone casting Bardic Inspiration through a parade.

She’s dazzling. She’s maddening. She will absolutely make you a theme song before asking your name and she seemed to almost enjoy egging Umberto on.

We should demand answers! You won’t get the right results if you’re charming about it.” She was hovering just next to him, wings beating furiously to keep up. I’m sure she would have used less energy if she just walked alongside him.

I’m not here to be charming,” Umberto growled.

Exactly!” Carrie beamed. “That’s your charm.”

Wonderful, I thought. I’m leading a powder keg. And someone’s giggling while holding the match.

As the house grew closer, I stepped a little faster, trying to subtly put myself between Umberto and the front door before he kicked it open and demanded someone’s inheritance.

Listen,” I said, holding out a hand as the porch came into view. “I think I should do the knocking. I don’t know Brenne all that well, but we have met before, and I can use the Church as a legitimate reason for our visit.

Trunch nodded, a hint of shared concern in his expression.

That sounds wise. Maybe… introduce us, ask a few church-related questions, and we’ll try to steer it naturally toward the important stuff as we go.”

Church business is important,” I reminded him “To some people.”

I stepped up onto the creaking porch—slightly warped boards, paint peeling in gentle surrender—and raised a hand to knock.

Three firm taps.

The sound of footsteps approached. Then the door opened.

Brenne Lenn stood in the doorway.

She took one look at me—specifically, at my robes—and her expression softened.

Good Afternoon, Reader,” she said, with a small, reserved smile.

You may not remember me,” I began, giving my most diplomatic bow, “but I’m Reader Klept from the Church of the Prophet, in Dawnsheart.

She looked at me, and for a moment—just a flicker—there was something in her gaze. Recognition, certainly. Possibly… something else?

I missed it entirely. Carrie did not. Hovering just behind me, she leaned toward Wikis and whispered—not quietly—

Oh, honey. She apparently remembers, alright

Wikis didn’t respond, but I heard a quiet snort.

I do apologize for the intrusion,” I began, adopting the careful tone of someone trying to ease open a wary conversation. “We wouldn’t normally arrive unannounced, but given the circumstances—”

Which is, of course, when Umberto blew past me like a storm through a library.

This is taking too long,” he barked, brushing against my shoulder and storming through the door as if he owned the place. “I’ve got questions, and I want answers. Preferably before the next corpse gets back up and asks me something.

Brenne took a startled step back. “Wait—what is—?

Umberto,” Trunch called out, sighing mid-apology as he followed after him. “He means well. I think. Sometimes. Sorry.”

Her eyes darted from the increasingly crowded entryway to me. I offered my most disarming smile. “As I was saying… Church business.

She didn’t look convinced. Which was fair, considering one of our group had just let himself in like an angry relative come to dispute a will.

From behind me, Carrie’s voice piped up brightly.

Oh, I like this energy,” she said.

Trunch attempted to smooth things over the way only someone flanked by an armed lunatic and a church scribe could.

Brenne,” he said gently, “you’re safe. We’re not here to hurt you, and this really won’t take long.

It better not,” Umberto added, already pacing across her sitting room like he was preparing to interrogate a ghost.

I hadn’t even made it fully into the house before Trunch turned to me.

Klept, be a dear and make some tea, would you?”

Which, of course, is exactly what you ask the chronicler to do during an investigation. Tea. Vital stuff. History can wait.

I retreated to the kitchen in search of something approximating a kettle. Behind me, Umberto’s boots thudded across the floorboards as he muttered about ‘secrets in the wallpaper’ and ‘something off about the upholstery.’

Wikis loitered in the doorway like a highly strung cat—eyes darting, fingers twitching, absolutely radiating “don’t trust anything that breathes or doesn’t.”

Day, ever the minimalist, simply said:

I’ll wait outside.”

Then sat on the porch like he was awaiting the world’s slowest apocalypse. The afternoon sun caught the edge of his braid—an infuriatingly perfect thing, all smooth angles and quiet menace—and lit it up like a ribbon spun from bronze.

I would have hated him, if he wasn’t so consistently right about everything.

Also—and I cannot stress this enough—we just fought skeletons. In a graveyard. Right after surviving a golem attack. This morning. By the gods, that was only this morning. And somehow, his hair still looks like he conditioned it with elven moonlight and braided it using the whispers of forest spirits. I tried to remember if he had been brushing it on the cart ride over here but couldn’t. Which somehow made it worse.

Yak leaned on the doorframe, looking so casual I knew he was about to do something reckless. And Carrie—of course—had taken to fluttering about the garden like she was choosing centerpieces for an impending duel.

In the parlour, Trunch began the questioning with the steady tone of someone trying to be respectful.

Brenne, we’re not here to accuse. We’re simply trying to understand if your parents ever mentioned any association with the Dan’del’ion Court—any names, visits, oddities. Anything that might help us piece this together.

Umberto did not share this approach.

Let’s stop pretending,” he said, voice low and sharp. “Your parents were in it. Maybe you are too. If you want this to go well, start telling the truth.

I winced into the teacups.

Halfway through the questioning, I caught movement—Carrie, descending gracefully from above, as though she hadn’t just been spying through an upper window. She whispered to Yak, who turned and whispered to Day, who didn’t react at all… aside from the faintest nod.

Yak slipped silently inside like a shadow that had been invited in by accident.

Wikis, catching the cue, turned to Brenne with a sweetness I did not trust.

Is there a restroom I could use?” she asked, blinking innocently.

Brenne hesitated, clearly frazzled.

It’s… upstairs.”

Thank you,” Wikis said, already moving.

There was no stopping it now. The stealth team had deployed. The interrogation was underway. The tea was steeping.

And I was standing in a stranger’s kitchen with the growing suspicion that this was all going to end with shouting, broken furniture, and an official complaint to the Church.

A couple of minutes later I watched as Yak slipped back outside like nothing had happened, and Wikis re-entered the parlour just in time for the conversation to explode.

Because of course it did.

Trunch was doing his best.

Which is to say, he was carefully and calmly attempting to explain to a grieving young woman that her parents’ final resting place had recently failed to live up to its promise.

We discovered their sarcophagi open,” he said gently. “There are… signs of necromantic interference. We believe someone may be trying to—well—stir the past.

Brenne, understandably, was already pale and trembling.

Then Umberto decided to help.

Yeah,” he cut in, “your parents got back up. All skeleton, no soul. Attacked us. I put them down.

There was a silence. The kind that has weight to it.

Trunch looked like he’d swallowed a tack.

Just to clarify,” he said quickly, “we did not kill them the first time. They were already… post-mortem. What Umberto means is, they reanimated, and we were forced to—

Smash them,” Umberto added with a joyful malice “Again.”

Brenne’s eyes welled, then flared with a different kind of fire.

Get. Out.”

That’s fair,” I muttered.

She stood, trembling, but somehow steady, and pointed at the door with the certainty of someone who’d just had their last shred of comfort torched.

All of you. Now.

And for once, no one argued.

We left as a group—not quite silent, but certainly not speaking. Day rose from the porch without a word, his steps quiet, eyes unreadable. Carrie drifted overhead like a butterfly trying not to laugh, humming a tune that sounded uncomfortably like a funeral march in a major key.

I trudged near the back, notebook in hand, appetite hollow and bitter.

Yak reappeared beside me, chewing on something warm and fragrant. Something unmistakable.

“Well,” Yak added between bites, “that could have gone worse.”

“Yes,” I muttered. “But only if we’d arrived carrying torches and a mariachi band. Where did you even … Is that…?” I asked.

He nodded, mouth full. “Sizzlecake. Still warm.”

I stared at it like a man watching a ship sail away with everything he ever loved.”

He pointed off to the side.

Trunch stood beside a roadside stall, handing a few coins to an old woman who was packing things up. He had one more sizzlecake in his hand, the other already gone. A bag of onions dangled from his elbow like some cruel joke. He didn’t look back.

I felt something wither inside me.

“Move it, Chronicler,” Umberto barked from up ahead. “We don’t have time to dawdle.”

Carrie twirled lazily in the air, her humming now drifting into the second verse—bright, chipper, and completely inappropriate.

I hadn’t had a single bite. Not one. 

We made our way back down the hill—toward the graveyard, and whatever regrettable plan would emerge next.

Din was nowhere in sight.

We called his name a few times, scattered and uncertain, until Carrie’s voice floated out from a corner of the cemetery.

He’s over here!” she called, half-curious, half-concerned.

He was sitting cross-legged in the grass, completely still, positioned in front of a headstone that looked like it had been on the losing side of a decades-long argument with the surrounding flora.

We slowed. Approached cautiously.

Din?” Trunch called out, wiping the last remnants of the last sizzlecake on his shirt.

No response.

Umberto clomped closer and waved a hand in front of his face.

Still nothing.

Should we… poke him?” Yak asked, already halfway committed to the idea.

Maybe, don’t,” Trunch said. “Not yet, anyway

I looked down and noticed the grass, weeds, and moss had been cleared—carefully—from around the base of the headstone. Din had done it, that much was clear. Not in a trance, then. Not entirely. Something deliberate had led him here.

The stone beneath was worn, but not unreadable. Moss clung to the corners of carved lettering, but just enough had been exposed for the name to flicker into view.

D.A.V.O.S.

Beneath it, a carved face—undeniably Dwarven. The beard was rendered in curling, masterful strokes, rising up off the stone like it was caught mid-flow, or charged with static. It shimmered faintly, even without sunlight.

I stepped back.

Sparkwhiskers?” I breathed.

The group went quiet.

Carrie landed lightly beside me and studied the headstone. 

What’s it mean?” She asked.

I think it’s best he tells you, when he’s ready”.

What’s wrong with him?” Wikis asked, circling slowly, eyes narrowed. “He’s not dead, right?

No,” I said. “But he’s… elsewhere.

Trunch knelt beside Din and placed a hand lightly on his shoulder.

Din?” he said again, softly.

Din didn’t blink. Didn’t move.

He was looking at the grave like it had spoken. And maybe, in a way, it had.

Well, this is fucking great” Umberto spat “little miss skeleton parents up there didn’t give us anything” he gestured towards Brenne’s house “and now Din’s catatonic.

“And I didn’t get any sizzlecake” I mumbled. 

“What did you say?” Barked Umberto.

I said, I’m sure we’ll figure out a way to snap him out of it” I offered, in a way that I hoped sounded reassuring. 

And I wouldn’t say she gave us nothing,” Yak said. He exchanged a glance with Wikis and she pulled something out from somewhere under her coat.

Trunch’s brow furrowed. “You stole something, from her house?”.

Yak just shrugged his shoulders.

They found it in the bedroom upstairs” Carrie squealed “I saw them through the window

Wikis placed a small box very carefully on the ground and immediately snatched it up again. 

I don’t think this one will raise the dead” Day offered. 

She scowled at him and placed it down again. Black stone—though not quite stone—with delicate silver filigree edging. And on the lid, unmistakably, the symbol: a wilted dandelion head, nestled in a bed of thorns.

It was hidden under a floorboard,” Yak said, casually cleaning his nails with a dagger like he was recounting a walk through a flower garden. “Room smelled like lavender.

He glanced at me and nodded.

Told you,” I muttered.

And secrets,” Wikis added, sniffing the air like she could catch one mid-sentence. “Definitely smelled like secrets. He accidentally set the trap off” Wikis added nodding towards Yak “but then caught the dart without even looking. It was so cool

Didn’t even blink” Yak added

Oh, you definitely blinked” Carrie huffed.

So she was lying” Umberto was still waving in Din’s face “I knew it”.

I don’t think she knew it was there” Yak offered. “The floorboard hadn’t been touched in decades.”

It’s definitely Dan’del’ion.” Day was holding a medallion next to the box, comparing symbols. “Think we should open it?”

Not here, not now” Trunch added. 

The sound was subtle at first—a sharp breath drawn through clenched teeth.

Every weapon in the vicinity was suddenly out.

Swords unsheathed. A dagger appeared in Yak’s hand. Trunch’s fingers twitched with a spell half-formed. Umberto was halfway into a combat roll he didn’t need to commit to.

Even Day, who had spent most of the afternoon embodying “apathetic statue,” stood with one hand on his blade, expression unchanged but definitely more murder-ready than usual.

Another one?” Wikis hissed, already stepping back and scanning the ground.

But it wasn’t a skeleton.

It was Din.

Blinking slowly, like someone just coming out of a deep, unwanted nap. He looked around at the very armed, very tense circle of friends now surrounding him, and let out a long, groggy exhale. He looked down at the headstone in front of him, the one he’d uncovered by hand, though I don’t think he remembered doing it. The carved Dwarven face looked back at him with a knowing kind of stillness, the spark-threaded beard catching the light.

I don’t know how long we stood there. Nobody said much. Even Umberto didn’t shout, which was unsettling in the way a silent forge is unsettling—you know the heat’s still in there somewhere, waiting to erupt.

Din didn’t move. Didn’t blink. Didn’t acknowledge us at all.

And here’s the thing: I’ve seen people grieve. I’ve seen people break. This wasn’t either.

This was something older. Deeper.

I’m going to need time to unpack that, …what did I miss?” he rasped.

No one answered at first. They were all too busy trying to look like they hadn’t just prepared to decapitate him.

I closed my notebook and sighed.

Should I start with the groundskeeper, or the poor woman up the hill,” I began, before Umberto clapped a hand on his shoulder with all the grace of a falling anvil.

You didn’t miss anything important,” he said. “We still don’t have answers.

And with that, he turned and began stomping back down the path toward the hamlet.

Where are you going?” Trunch called after him.

To get some,” Umberto barked. “One way or another. Someone in this shithole has to know something

Carrie hovered a little higher, clearly thrilled.

Ooooh, he’s doing the dramatic striding thing again,” she whispered to no one and everyone.

Wikis rolled her eyes and glanced at Din.

“He means well,” he said “In his own special way

I tucked my notes back into my coat.

Debatable,” I muttered. “But at least he’s consistent.”

And so, like some half-coordinated theatre troupe at the end of a very strange matinee, we gathered our things and followed Umberto up the dusty path. 

As we moved uphill through the village, doors clicked shut. Curtains twitched. Someone, somewhere, dropped a stack of cabbages in alarm.

Friendly place,” Umberto growled.

His frustration simmered with every step, like a kettle left too long on the fire.

Wikis, ever the pragmatist (and possibly a little desperate for attention), climbed onto a dry patch of fence post and called out into the square:

Five gold for anyone willing to answer a few questions!

It was a good offer. Generous, even.

It was met with silence.

Except, eventually, for a small voice.

A girl—no more than eight years old—emerged from behind a leaning rain barrel, barefoot, bright-eyed, and utterly fearless.

I’ll talk,” she said, sticking out her hand.

Gold changed hands. Questions were asked.

The results were… disappointing.

The girl knew nothing about the skeletons. Nothing about the Dan’del’ion Court. She giggled when Wikis used the word “necromancy” and asked if it was like hide-and-seek but with dirt.

The group’s patience, already thin, wore to tatters.

Their questions sharpened, voices rose, and then—because of course it was Umberto—there was a moment where the air shifted. A tension. A sharp glint in his eye that suggested, if she didn’t start providing better answers soon, he was genuinely considering extracting them by less-than-legal means.

Trunch, ever the diplomat, shifted tactics.

He crouched down, softened his voice, and asked heavier, more difficult questions—about the graveyard, about anything strange the girl might have seen or heard.

But somewhere along the way, something was lost.

She seemed to think this was still a game. That all we wanted were simple, cheerful facts—her name (Petra), her parents’ occupation (cabbage farmers, of course), the number of cats she had at home (three, but two were “mostly wild”).

She answered with the bright sincerity of a child proudly reciting her alphabet, completely missing the tension creeping into every corner of the conversation.

Each earnest answer was another pebble in the growing mountain of frustration.

Wikis, ever the opportunist, crouched down and showed the child the Dan’del’ion medallion.

My mum’s got one a bit like that,” she said brightly.

And then, as if she had just solved a riddle no one else could see, she skipped away down the road.

Everyone exchanged glances and began to follow. 

Not openly. That would have been too reasonable.

Instead, Umberto lurked behind a row of exceptionally large cabbages, scowling like a man who suspected the vegetables of conspiracy. Yak, meanwhile, melted into the shadows and returned moments later—face, height, and general demeanor now uncannily that of young Brenne Lenn.

He approached the house, knocked once.

The door opened. A woman—worn, cautious, and clearly surprised to see ‘Brenne’ on her porch, stared in confusion.

Yak pressed her. Gently at first, then with the casual confidence of someone who had learned to lie before learning to walk.

The medallion came out at last.

It wasn’t a Dan’del’ion relic.

It was a simple pendant. Cheap, tarnished—a red rose cast in tin. There were similarities in the shape but that was about it.  A parting gift, the woman said. From her husband. Before he ran off with a woman from ‘the Briars’. 

Not a great lead.

Not a lead at all, really.

Yak returned to us.

Dead end,” he said “husband left her – bought her a cheap rose medallion as a parting gift. She doesn’t know anything.”

Frustrated, the group fanned out through the village one last time—hoping, pleading, even demanding answers from shuttered windows and locked doors.

They found none.

Nelb had retreated into itself, and whatever secrets it held, it seemed determined to take them to bed early with the setting sun.

With no better options and tempers wearing thin, they made the practical decision to camp for the evening—just off the main road, within sight of the cemetery’s crumbling walls.

It wasn’t ideal.
But nothing about this day had been.

We set up in a crooked circle on a patch of uneven ground where the grass was too stubborn to grow properly and the stones were just ambitious enough to bruise your spine if you laid the wrong way.

I hadn’t eaten all day. The sizzlecakes were long gone, the leads colder than the grave, and the only thing drifting down from the fields now was the bitter stink of onions.

I pulled my robes tighter, laid down on a stone that hated my back, and tried not to think about everything we didn’t get.We would return to Dawnsheart at first light – hopefully to have a better day.

A Fistful of Dandelions

Chronicles of Klept: Chapter VIII


We left Dawnsheart just after noon. Battered and bruised, but they had been paid, at least. Smoke rose behind us as the cart rolled on, and Wikis muttered curses while picking glass from her hair.

The road to Nelb isn’t long. An hour by cart, less if you’re on horseback and don’t stop for existential dread. But it’s enough time for questions. And, unfortunately, answers.

Alright,” Din said, adjusting the hammer at his back, “someone explain to me why we’re terrified of flowers again.

The Dan’del’ion Court,” Trunch added, from the front of the cart, “Klept, you said something about vampires. Rulers of the valley. But that’s centuries past, isn’t it?

Day didn’t say anything. But he looked at me in that calculating way of his, the one that felt like a silent “Go on.”

I sighed, and my stomach, unhelpfully, chose that moment to growl like a caged dire weasel.

Before I could say anything, Yak wordlessly reached into his coat and produced a semi-squashed pie, as if he’d been waiting for exactly this moment.

Stole it from the onion-and-thyme stall at the festival” he said, proudly. “Still flakey.

He handed it over without ceremony, and I accepted it like it was a sacred offering.

You’re a delinquent,” I said. “But a useful one.

And as I bit into the soft, flaky pastry, something warm and nostalgic sparked at the back of my throat.

Sulkin’s Sizzlecake,” I murmured. “Can’t wait.

What?” Din asked.

It’s Nelb’s pride and joy,” I said, already drifting into lecture mode. “A pan-fried patty made of pickled cabbage, caramelized onion, root veg, and dried bread. Crisped in vegetable oil. Topped with smokey mash. Best thing to come out of that hamlet besides quiet and topsoil.”

Sounds like a dare,” Din said.

Sounds like home,” I replied.

Sounds… mushy,” Carrie offered, gliding overhead.

You don’t understand,” I said, more animated than I intended. “Sulkin’s Sizzlecake is heritage. It’s tradition. It’s breakfast, lunch, pleasure and remorse all in one bite.

I’ll try anything once,” Yak said with his mouth full of stolen pie.

Trunch, of course, brought us gently back to the actual problem.

The Court, Klept. What else should we know?

I took another bite of the pie. It was fine. Flakey, savoury, unexpectedly nostalgic.

The Dan’del’ion Court,” I began, brushing crumbs from my lap, “ruled the Humbledoewn Valley and much of central Elandaru for centuries. Tyrants. Vampires. The kind of aristocracy that doesn’t just bleed the people dry—they drink it, bottle it, and sell it as vintage.

I reached into my satchel and tossed something small and heavy toward Din. He caught it instinctively, blinking at the object in his palm.

A medallion. Dark metal, circular, etched with the sigil of the Court—a wilted dandelion head amongst a bed of thorns, full moon in the sky above.

Tufulla gave it to me,” I said. “Told me to show you. Pulled it off one of the festival attackers before the guards carted him off. Possession of Dan’del’ion relics is technically illegal, so please pretend I didn’t just toss you an arrestable offense.

Charming,” said Trunch, turning the medallion over in his hand.

What is it?” Din asked.

A badge. A mark of allegiance. Back in the day, members of the Court—or their loyalists—wore these when attending ceremonies, performing rituals, or, you know, casually oppressing peasants.

And now they’re back,” Day said quietly.

Or someone wants us to think they are,” I replied.

The medallion made its way around the cart, passed from hand to hand like a cursed trinket in a travelling show.

Yak flicked it like a coin, listening for something only he could hear. Umberto raised it to his mouth, clearly intending to bite it—then paused, wrinkled his nose, and seemed to reconsider the taste of ancient vampiric symbolism.

Trunch held it up to the sun, watching the silver inlay catch the light, like he was trying to read a prophecy in tarnish.

It never made its way back to me.

I suspect, though I can’t prove, that it took a detour somewhere between Wikis’ hands and her many, many coat pockets.

That quiet settled over us again—the kind that rides alongside prophecy and dread.

Up ahead, the first fields of Nelb crept into view. Rows of cabbage and onions stretched to the horizon, and beyond them, a cluster of rooftops huddled under grey skies.

The first thing you notice about Nelb is the smell.

Not a bad smell, exactly—just a very committed one. A heady blend of damp soil, root vegetables, and the kind of onion-forward honesty you only get from a town that’s truly proud of its produce.

The second thing you notice is Brandt Ulfornd.

He must have seen us coming. As we began to get closer to the hamlet he came strolling down the road. He met us just past the crooked signpost marking the edge of the hamlet—an older man with wind-chapped skin, ink-stained fingers, and the perpetual squint of someone who’d spent most of his life both reading bad handwriting and digging up worse surprises in the midday sun.

You must be the ones Tufulla sent,” he said without preamble. “Good. We’ve got a problem.

That’s our specialty,” Umberto said cheerfully, already loosening his shoulders like the problem might be punchable.

Brandt didn’t laugh.

The dead,” he said. “Some of them are trying to let themselves out.”

That got everyone’s attention.

He gestured down the dirt path toward the cemetery—a modest plot at the far end of the hamlet, ringed by low stone walls. Some sections had clearly collapsed and been patched with whatever the locals could find—wooden doors, chicken wire, two actual wagon wheels, and at least one suspiciously ornate headboard.

We’ve barred the gates and sealed it as best we can,” Brandt continued. “But it won’t hold forever. Whatever’s stirring in there… it’s not resting easy.

He reached into his coat, pulled out a key the size of a halfling’s arm, and handed it to me.

You’ll be needing this. Padlock on the main gate.

Why me?” I asked.

You look like the responsible one,” he said. Then, after a beat, “Or at least the one least likely to throw it at something.” Looking down, I realized I was still in my church robes. Among a group of people armed like a small militia, I was the sensible choice.

With that, he turned and began the slow walk up the hill toward his cottage, which sat perched above the cemetery like a very tired sentinel.

The wind shifted.

Somewhere beyond the gate, something rattled.

The gate hadn’t even finished squeaking when Umberto raised his axe.

One swing.
Two.
The padlock exploded into two distinct and equally surprised pieces.

Could’ve used the key,” I offered, half-heartedly.

Where’s the drama in that?” he grinned, already kicking open the gate like he was storming a wedding.

Inside, the cemetery was unnervingly still—until it wasn’t. 

Two skeletons stood from behind opposite gravestones, all clatter and menace and the unmistakable body language of creatures that had just remembered they hate the living.

There’s two,” Trunch noted. “But not for long,” he added, unleashing a blast of violet fire that scorched the first skeleton into aggressively motivated confetti.

One down!” he called. “Minimal paperwork!

Wikis dashed past him, sending an arrow flying. It went clean through a ribcage and stuck harmlessly into a grave marker behind it.

What the fuck? I don’t miss!” Wikis shouted, watching another arrow sail cleanly through a skeleton’s ribcage and thud uselessly into a headstone. “The old man gave us useless weapons. I knew we shouldn’t have trusted him”

We are fighting mostly bones,” Din grunted, dodging a swinging femur. “You might want to aim for something less hollow.

I was aiming for his chest!” Wikis snapped, stringing another arrow with the stubborn intensity of someone blaming physics for betrayal

Maybe try using something more ‘hitty’ and less ‘pointy’,’” Din muttered, just before taking a rusty shortsword to the thigh.

Ow—WHY do skeletons get swords?!”

It’s historical accuracy!” I called helpfully from behind a
It’s stupid,” he snarled, swinging his hammer hard enough to turn the offender into soup bones.

Trunch’s first blast hit true, but his second scorched the moss off a statue instead of a skeleton.

Too far left!” someone yelled.
“No, that was a warning shot!” Trunch insisted. “It was—AH!

A bony hand had grabbed his shoulder from behind.

Day took it out with a flick of the wrist, but not before Trunch got a jagged elbow to the ribs.

Still alive?” Day asked, deadpan. “Don’t warn, just shoot.”

Carrie, mid-glide, waved a hand over the party, casting a wave of supportive magic.

You’re doing amazing, sweeties! Except you! You need to duck-

Clonk.

Yak, not used to working with aerial support, caught the butt of a skeleton’s sword across the temple while trying to flank.

I’m fine!” he said, stumbling behind a gravestone and disappearing into the shadow.

Another skeleton shoved Wikis backwards—hard—sending her sprawling into a pile of loose headstones.

Okay, rude!” she snapped, springing back up and stabbing it in the pelvis.

Aim for the skull!” Umberto shouted.
I am! It just keeps moving!

Day was the only one untouched, blades whirling with unnerving grace—but even he was forced to retreat a half-step when three of the skeletons converged at once.

For a moment, it looked like the undead had the upper hand.

And then Umberto tackled one into a grave, shouting:

I’VE GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU

And then Day whistled? a whisper of magic and rhythm suddenly wrapped around him like wind through silk.

In seconds, he was a blur. Steel flashed. Bones cracked. One skeleton looked down to realize its legs were no longer part of the conversation.

Look at that. Dead and downsized.” Day murmured, not breaking stride before launching the skull toward Din. “Head’s up!

Din spun around, a cloud of dust appeared as his massive hammer caught the skull mid-flight. “That was intentional” he called out to no-one in particular 

That’s four!” someone called.

And that’s when the fifth skeleton popped up like a badly timed sequel.

You know,” I said, backing up behind a moderately sturdy mausoleum, “it would be great if we could not wake up the entire graveyard.”

Yeah, but that’s not as much fun,” Yak shouted mid-somersault.

Umberto, mid-swing, grinned and shouted,

Hey, Klept. Chronicle this!

Then he heaved the final skeleton into a crumbling headstone near my position

It exploded in a spray of bones and pulverized granite. The largest chunk landed directly at my feet.

Consider it chronicled,” I muttered, brushing cemetery dust from my robe and rethinking all my life choices.

The graveyard had gone quiet.

The kind of quiet that settles in after chaos, when the adrenaline begins to seep out and you’re left standing in the middle of a mess that’s only mostly finished.

Trunch was examining one of the shattered skeletons with the grim focus of someone hoping it wasn’t magical. He flicked something metallic to Day who caught it without hesitation. Din was cleaning a smear of something unpleasant off his hammer. Wikis was pacing, turning in circles like a cat that suspects the furniture is conspiring against it.

Five skeletons,” Day muttered, wiping his hands. “Three medallions,” he held out his arm and three metallic discs hung from his fist..

What are you suggesting?” Trunch asked, rubbing one of the discs between his fingers.

That someone’s missing. Or hiding.

It was Carrie who spotted it first – the mausoleum.

Larger than the others. Less weathered. Door cracked open just enough to imply it hadn’t been forced from outside.

Ooooh,” Carrie said with a delighted gasp. “Big spooky house for dead people. And the door’s open.

Din and Trunch approached with caution. They knelt by the threshold, examined the crumbled stonework and rusted hinges. Din’s brow furrowed.

This door wasn’t broken down. It was broken out.

The engraving above the doorway read simply: LENN.

Inside, the mausoleum was cool and dry. Two sarcophagi dominated the chamber—elaborate stone coffins, their lids pushed aside just enough to suggest recent movement.

Carrie flitted toward the back wall and traced a finger along the stone.

There’s something behind here,” they said, brushing away years of dust. “A brick. Different mortar. A seam.

Din stepped in, tools already in hand. He worked quickly—carefully— and the brick came free.

It was smooth, weighty, and marked with a familiar symbol: the wilted dandelion seed head, the thorns, the pale full moon.

Wikis took it immediately. No one was surprised.

Don’t eat it,” Yak warned, a little late.

I’m not eating it,” she snapped. “I’m looking at it.

She turned it over, sniffed it, tapped it, held it up to the light like it might whisper secrets if angled just right.

It didn’t.

Well?” Umberto asked.

It’s… just a brick,” she said finally, squinting. “But it looks like one of those medallion things might be inside it. It’s hard to tell.” 

With an exaggerated sigh, she sat down next to a slightly raised patch of earth and set the brick beside her.

There was a pause.

The ground shifted.

Then a skeletal hand broke through the soil where Wikis had just placed the brick on top of a grave.

She froze.

Then, with grim efficiency and a slightly wild look in her eye, she stabbed it. Not once. Not twice. Repeatedly. As if the skeleton had insulted her boots, her haircut, and her entire bloodline in one sentence.

Oh no you don’t,” she hissed. “You stay dead!

The torso wriggled up, ribs gleaming in the afternoon light.

Umberto sighed—long and theatrical.

I am so done with this.”

He stepped forward and, without ceremony, stomped the skeleton’s skull into the ground with the flat of his boot.

There was a satisfying crunch.

There,” he said.

Wikis didn’t stop stabbing for another two seconds.

I, from a safe distance, made a note:

“Post-mortem vengeance, if executed decisively, can be quite therapeutic. Possibly contagious.”

Trunch stepped forward, eyeing the brick still resting beside the grave like it might sprout legs.

“Don’t leave that lying around,” he said evenly. “Put it in a bag. Deep in a bag. Preferably under something heavy. And preferably not next to anything we might value, trust, or be fond of.

Wikis scooped it up reluctantly and shoved it into her coat, muttering something about everyone being dramatic.

“We should probably have Tufulla take a look at it,” Din said, matter-of-factly.

Umberto grunted. “Or we smash it now and save ourselves the trouble.”


Wikis said nothing—just slipped it into an inner pocket and patted it once, like it might bite.

Like three old stones weathered by different storms, Trunch, Day, and Din gathered near the mausoleum—one stern, one silent, one searching. Together, they watched the ground as if it might still hold answers.

Five skeletons,” Trunch said, rubbing a smear of bone dust between his fingers. “Three medallions. That bothered me at first.

And now?” Day asked, arms folded.

Now I think the brick explains the rest.” He gestured vaguely toward Wikis’ coat, as if the cursed object might start rattling at any moment. “It was placed directly between the sarcophagi. It could be another trigger.

Day considered that for a moment, then tilted his head slightly.

You think the medallions raise the dead?

Maybe,” Trunch said. “Three of the skeletons had medallions. Two didn’t. There are two empty sarcophagi, which would account for the extra skeletons.

Din knelt beside a patch of disturbed earth, glancing back toward the mausoleum.

The brick was placed precisely,” he said. “Dead center. The sarcophagi weren’t even sealed properly. Whoever put it there either expected the dead to rise… or wanted them to.

So, the mystery skeletons are Mr. and Mrs. Lenn then?” Carrie called out, not looking up from where she was cheerfully doing rubbings of a headstone. “Rude of them not to wear name tags.”

Day, ignoring her, nodded slowly.

Normally,” he said, “another skeleton rising in the middle of a graveyard fight wouldn’t be strange.

Skeletons rising is strange by nature,” Carrie called from somewhere among the headstones..

Stranger then,” he clarified. “Because it didn’t just happen. It happened right after she put the brick down. That’s not a coincidence. That’s a connection.

The group gathered together at the graveyard entrance. 

This seems too specific to be random,” Trunch said 

We could go back,” Wikis offered, scanning the graves again. “Tell Tufulla what we saw – give him his stupid bow back” holding the bow out at arms length and giving it a look as if it had just embarrassed her in front of royalty. 

We could,” Carrie said, drifting gently above the cracked headstones, “but wouldn’t that be boring?

I was quietly leaning toward ‘sizzlecake,’ but no one asked me.

We should find out more about the LENN family,” Trunch said. “If there’s a bloodline still here, it might explain the activity. Someone’s stirring the old blood.

Agreed” Din was looking at the mausoleum “That brick had to be there for a reason.”

“Brandt!” Carrie declared, beaming with the pride of someone who thinks they’ve just discovered butter goes on hot corn cobs. “He’d probably know.

I did not sigh. Not audibly. But internally? There was a whole opera.

Yes, by all means, let’s consult the man whose graveyard looks like it was curated by neglect and possibly raccoons. Don’t ask the chronicler who spent two winters mapping the valley’s family lines by candlelight and spite. No no. Ask the man whose house looks like it’s been losing an argument with the wind since the last harvest.

Brandt’s house sat crookedly on the hill, leaning slightly to the left like it was thinking of giving up. Shingles missing, porch half-collapsed, chimney held together by prayer and moss. It matched the graveyard perfectly—headstones toppled, names obscured, weeds tall enough to qualify as wildlife. Nothing in this place looked cared for. Not recently. Not passionately.

The others started up the worn path.

Then Din stopped.

He squinted into a far corner of the cemetery—dense brush and ivy-choked stone, wild even by Nelb’s relaxed standards.

What is it?” Umberto called, his tone part concern, part boredom.

Din didn’t answer immediately. Then, without turning:

I’ll catch up in a moment.”

Umberto cupped his hands around his mouth.
If something else decides it doesn’t want to be dead anymore—try a battle cry this time, not one of those startled little screams.

Din raised a single finger in reply, not stopping, not turning, he just kept walking into the overgrowth, eyes fixed on something none of us could see.

The rest of us paused, then moved on. No shouting. No urgency.

Just that lingering feeling that something hadn’t quite finished.